Now a few lines to paper I will put, Of men’s beards strange and variable cut; In which there’s some do take as vain a pride As almost in all other things beside. Some are reaped most substantial as a brush, Which make a natural wit known by the bush. Some seem as they were starched stiff and fine, Like to the bristles of some hungry swine; And some (to set their love’s desire on edge) Are cut and pruned like a quick-set hedge. Some like a spade, some like a fork, some square, Some round, some mowed like stubble, some stark bare; Some sharp stiletto-fashion, dagger-like, That may, with whispering, a man’s eye out pike; Some with the hammer cut, or Roman T, Their beards extravagant reformed must be; Some with the quadrate, some triangle fashion, Some circular, some oval in translation, Some perpendicular in longitude, Some like a thicket for their crassitude; That heights, depths, breadths, triform, square, round, And rules geometrical, in beards are found; Besides the upper lip’s strange variation, Corrected from mutation to mutation; As ’twere from tithing unto tithing sent, Pride gives Pride continual punishment. Some (spite their teeth) like thatch’d eaves downward grows, And some grow upwards in despite their nose. Some their mustachios of such length do keep, That very well they may a manger sweep! Which in beer, ale, or wine, they drinking plunge, And suck the liquor up as ’twere a sponge; But ’tis a sloven’s beastly Pride, I think, To wash his beard when other men may drink. And some (because they will not rob the cup) Their upper chaps like pot-hooks are turned up. The Barbers, thus, (like Tailors) still must be Acquainted with each cuts variety. The word beard, in former times, was understood to comprehend what we now distinguish as beard, whiskers and moustaches. The colour of the beard was considered of much importance, and dyed, when needful, of the desired hue. Bottom, who was to act the part of Pyramus, “a most gentleman-like man,” says, “I will discharge it in either your straw-coloured beard, your orange-tawny beard, your purple-in-grain beard, or your French-crown-colour beard, your perfect yellow,” nor must we omit the most venerable of all, “a sable silvered.” There was, also, the yellow, or Cain-coloured beard; and the red, or Judas-beard, formerly supposed to indicate a treacherous nature.