Produced by Joris Van Dael, Charles Aldarondo, Charles Franks and the Online Distributed Proofreading Team TRIVIA By Logan Pearsall Smith 1917 _Bibliographical Note_ Some of these pieces were privately printed at the Chiswick Press in 1902. Others have appeared in the "New Statesman" and "The New Republic," and are here reprinted with the Editors' permission. _Preface_ "You must beware of thinking too much about Style," said my kindly adviser, "or you will become like those fastidious people who polish and polish until there is nothing left." "Then there really are such people?" I asked, lost in the thought of how much I should like to meet them. But the well-informed lady could give me no precise information about them. I often hear of them in this tantalizing manner, and perhaps one day I shall get to know them. They sound delightful. _The Author_ These pieces of moral prose have been written, dear Reader, by a large Carnivorous Mammal, belonging to that suborder of the Animal Kingdom which includes also the Orang-outang, the tusked Gorilla, the Baboon with his bright blue and scarlet bottom, and the long-eared Chimpanzee. _List of Contents_ BOOK I Preface The Author Happiness To-day The Afternoon Post The Busy Bees The Wheat The Coming of Fate My Speech Stonehenge The Stars Silvia Doria Bligh House In Church Parsons The Sound of a Voice What Happens A Precaution The Great Work My Mission The Birds High Life Empty Shells Dissatisfaction A Fancy They In the Pulpit Human Ends Lord Arden The Starry Heaven My Map The Snob Companions Edification The Rose The Vicar of Lynch Tu Quoque Fontium The Spider BOOK II L'Oiseau Bleu At the Bank Mammon I See the World Social Success Apotheosis The Spring in London Fashion Plates Mental Vice The Organ of Life Humiliation Green Ivory In the Park The Correct "Where Do I Come In?" Microbes The Quest The Kaleidoscope Oxford Street Beauty The Power of Words Self-Analysis The Voice of the World And Anyhow Drawbacks Talk The Church of England Misgiving Sanctuaries Symptoms Shadowed The Incredible Terror Pathos Inconstancy The Poplar On the Doorstep Old Clothes Youth Consolation Sir Eustace Carr The Lord Mayor The Burden Under an Umbrella TRIVIA BOOK I _How blest my lot, in these sweet fields assign'd Where Peace and Leisure soothe the tuneful mind._ SCOTT, of Amwell, _Moral Eclogues_ (1773) _Happiness_