What is it, I have more than once asked myself, what is it that
I am looking for in my walks about London? Sometimes it seems to
me as if I were following a Bird, a bright Bird that sings
sweetly as it floats about from one place to another.
When I find myself however among persons of middle age and settled
principles, see them moving regularly to their offices--what keeps
them going? I ask myself. And I feel ashamed of myself and my Bird.
There is though a Philosophic Doctrine--I studied it at College,
and I know that many serious people believe it--which maintains
that all men, in spite of appearances and pretensions, all live
alike for Pleasure. This theory certainly brings portly,
respected persons very near to me. Indeed with a sense of low
complicity I have sometimes followed and watched a Bishop. Was
he too on the hunt for Pleasure, solemnly pursuing his Bird?
_At The Bank_
Entering the Bank in a composed manner, I drew a cheque and
handed it to the cashier through the grating. Then I eyed him
narrowly. Would not that astute official see that I was only
posing as a Real Person? No; he calmly opened a little drawer,
took out some real sovereigns, counted them carefully, and
handed them to me in a brass-tipped shovel. I went away feeling
I had perpetrated a delightful fraud. I had got some of the gold
of the actual world!
Yet now and then, at the sight of my name on a visiting card, or
of my face photographed in a group among other faces, or when I
see a letter addressed in my hand, or catch the sound of my own
voice, I grow shy in the presence of a mysterious Person who is
myself, is known by my name, and who apparently does exist. Can
it be possible that I am as real as any one else, and that all
of us--the cashier and banker at the Bank, the King on his
throne--all feel ourselves like ghosts and goblins in this
authentic world?
_Mammon_
Moralists and Church Fathers have named it the root of all Evil,
the begetter of hate and bloodshed, the sure cause of the soul's
damnation. It has been called "trash," "muck," "dunghill
excrement," by grave authors. The love of it is denounced in all
Sacred Writings; we find it reprehended on Chaldean bricks, and
in the earliest papyri. Buddha, Confucius, Christ, set their
faces against it; and they have been followed in more modern
times by beneficed Clergymen, Sunday School Teachers, and the
leaders of the Higher Thought. But have the condemnations of all
the ages done anything to tarnish that bright lustre? Men dig
for it ever deeper into the earth's intestines, travel in search
of it farther and farther to arctic and unpleasant regions.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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