Short stories, American; United States -- Social life and customs -- Fiction
“I am think to be missionary; I am become martyr. One consolación I
obtain. The rain eet has obscured the view. From the shore they can
not see. I am to smile no longer. That ees joy. A little joy, not too
mooch, for now ees but a trifle of that can-ooo left elevated over the
water, and I am fatigue with splashing. I am deciding shall I omit to
splash, and thus allow thees beeest of shark to bite me queeck, or
shall I to drown, when--ta! A hand on the stern of my t’roat, and a
voice t’rough the nose, a voice so beautiful, a voice American, saying
(eef you pairmeet eemeetacion), ‘Hallo, bosss! Do yer cum out here for
thees exercise evvereee Saturday?’ and I am lift into a boat.
“So they tek me to Córdova. My clothes he ees shorten by the water;
also hees color ees not all in the same place as when I mek purchase
of heem. He ees the flannel clothes with the rrred, white, and blue
straps. Now he ees the rainbow, and from the hat has come color to my
nose, to my cheeek.
“I land calm, coomposséd--eet ees like I have made the same each day.
Córdova he ees perplex; the ladies they know not what to say.
“‘Have you petroleum?’ I ask Córdova.
“He mek reply, ‘Yes, I have.’
“‘Of your kindness, obtain me some,’ I say and retire unto the house.
“When I retoorn, the old clothes repose upon my arm; I smoke the
cigarillo. With the cold blood I walk to that can-ooo. I poot the old
clothes upon heem. With the petrol I es-sprinkle all. I strike the
match, first to light the cigarillo--then so carelessly, I light the
little can-ooo.
“‘Pardon,’ I say. ‘Coostom American.’
“The ladies all cry, ‘Ah!’ and Córdova he knock hees feest with hees
head and mek outcry: ‘Ah! What devils are thees Americanos! What care
they for expense!’
“So I am veen-dickateed. And that end my little can-ooo.”
V
THE REVERSE OF A MEDAL
AN ACCOUNT OF THE MAKING OF MARY ELLEN’S HERO
Mary Ellen Darragh was a strange girl. Her life may have had something
to do with that. Left fatherless at sixteen, with a mother and three
little Darraghs on her hands, she at once jumped into the breach,
which in this case was the breeches, and by the use of good taste, a
ready tongue, pleasant manners and plenty of hard work, performed her
stint so well that now, at two-and-twenty, she was sole proprietor of
a millinery establishment which employed four girls besides herself.
Carriage-folk came to the door of Mary Ellen’s establishment, she was
so good--and so cheap.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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