Death -- Fiction; France -- Fiction; Villages -- France -- Fiction
She had got far beyond that point now; she did not allow that he could
possibly influence her, such had become the unshakable pride of her
faith. Nevertheless, he bitterly recalled his lost opportunity, and
deplored his egotistical adoration during the delightful springtime
of their married life, when he had never ceased to admire her beauty,
without a thought of diving into her conscience and enlightening her.
True, he had not then imagined that he would become an artisan of truth
such as he was to-day; he had accepted certain compromises, imagining
that he was strong enough to remain the master. Indeed, all his present
torture arose from his whilom masculine vanity, the blind weakness of
his early love.
He knew that now, and as he paused before a lilac bush, whose flowers,
open since the previous day, were shedding a penetrating perfume
around, a sudden flame, a renewed desire to fight and conquer, arose
within him. Even if he had formerly failed in his duty, was that a
reason for him to fail in it now, by allowing his daughter to wreck her
life in the same way as her mother had wrecked hers? Such remissness
on his part would be the more unpardonable as he had taken on himself
the task of saving the children of others from the falsehoods of the
centuries. Perhaps it might be allowable for some obscurely situated
man to put up with the doings of a bigot wife, who was intent on
crazing her daughter with foolish and dangerous practices; but how
could he accept such a position--he who had removed the crucifix
from his classroom, he whose teaching was strictly secular, he who
openly proclaimed the necessity of saving woman from the Church if one
desired to build the Happy City? Would not his acceptance of such a
position be the fullest possible confession of impotence? It would
be the denial and the annihilation of his mission. He would lose all
power, all authority to ask others to do that which he could or would
not do himself in his own home. And what an example of hypocrisy
and egotistical weakness would he not give to his daughter, who was
acquainted with his ideas, and knew him to be opposed to Confession and
Communion. Would she not wonder why he tolerated at home the actions
which he condemned when their neighbours were in question? Would it
not seem to her that he thought one way and acted another? Ah! no, no,
tolerance had become impossible; he could no longer give way unless
he desired to see his work of deliverance crumble beneath universal
contempt.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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