Alexander Hulings' antagonism increased and illogically fastened on the
Ironmaster. The other's character, as it had been stated, was precisely
the quality that called to the surface his own stubborn will of
self-assertion. It precipitated a condition in which he expanded, grew
determined, ruthless, cold.
He imagined himself, sick and almost moneyless and bound for Claypole's
failure, opposed to John Wooddrop, and got a faint thrill from the
fantastic vision. He had a recurrence of the conviction that he, too,
was a strong man; and it tormented him with the bitter contrast between
such an image and his actual present self. He laughed aloud, a thin,
shaken giggle, at his belief persisting in the face of such irrefutable
proof of his failure. Nevertheless, it was firmly lodged in him, like
a thorn pricking at his dissolution, gathering his scattered faculties
into efforts of angry contempt at the laudation of others.
Veneada and Hallie Flower, he realized, were the only intimates he
had gathered in a solitary and largely embittered existence. He had no
instinctive humanity of feeling, and his observations, colored by his
spleen, had not added to a small opinion of man at large. Always feeling
himself to be a figure of supreme importance, he had never ceased to
chafe at the small aspect he was obliged to exhibit. This mood
had grown, through an uncomfortable sense of shame, to a perpetual
disparagement of all other triumph and success.
Finally the band ceased its efforts, the oil lights burned dim, and a
movement to the cabins proceeded, leaving him on a deserted deck. At
last, utterly exhausted, he went below in search of a berth. They hung
four deep about the walls, partly curtained, while the floor of the
cabin was filled with clothesracks, burdened with a miscellany of outer
garments. One place only was empty—under the ceiling; and he made a
difficult ascent to the narrow space. Sleep was an impossibility—a storm
of hoarse breathing, muttering, and sleepy oaths dinned on his ears. The
cabin, closed against the outer air, grew indescribably polluted. Any
former torment of mind and body was minor compared to the dragging
wakeful hours that followed; a dread of actual insanity seized him.
Almost at the first trace of dawn the cabin was awakened and filled with
fragmentary dressing. The deck and bar were occupied by men waiting for
the appearance of the feminine passengers from their cabin forward, and
breakfast. The day was warm and fine. The packet crossed a turgid river,
at the mouths of other canal routes, and entered a wide pastoral valley.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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