Circassia (Russia) -- Social life and customs; Crimea (Ukraine) -- Social life and customs; Harems
The wives of several diplomats had given us letters of introduction
to many of their friends at Constantinople, and so kindly were these
responded to by the Turkish ladies that we found ourselves received
at once with the greatest cordiality, and before we left the shores
of the Bosphorus had made friendships that we heartily trust we may
be fortunate enough to renew at some future day.
After a stay of several months, our conviction was that it would be
difficult to find people more kind-hearted, more simple-mannered,
or more sweet-tempered than the Turkish women.
The servants, or slaves, are treated with a kindness and consideration
that many Christian households would do well to imitate. They seem
quite part of the family, and in fact a woman slave does belong to
it should she have a child, as she then is entitled to her freedom,
and her master is bound to accord her certain privileges which give
her a position higher than that of a servant, though she does not
attain the dignity of being a wife.
The greatest punishment we have heard of, and which is only inflicted
on viragos whose tongues set the whole harem in a flame, is to sell (or
what is still worse) to give them away to a family of inferior rank.
This is considered a frightful indignity, and one which, when seriously
threatened, usually suffices to still the veriest shrew.
Of course a jealous and perhaps neglected wife may occasionally make a
pretty young odalisk's life somewhat uncomfortable, but harsh usage and
cruelty are almost unknown; and in general the wife (for now there is
seldom more than one) is quite satisfied if her authority is upheld,
and if she remain the supreme head of the household. If content on
these matters, she rarely troubles herself about the amusements of
her husband.
A Turkish woman also rapidly becomes old, and after a few years of
youth finds her principal happiness in the care of her children,
in eating, in the gossip at the bath, and in the weekly drive to the
Valley of the Sweet Waters.
A Turkish wife, whatever her rank, is always at home at sunset to
receive her husband, and to present him with his pipe and slippers
when, his daily work over, he comes to enjoy the repose of his harem.
In most households also the wife superintends her husband's dinner,
and has the entire control over all domestic affairs.
The greatest charm of the Turkish ladies consists in the perfect
simplicity of their manners, and in the total absence of all pretence.
When we knew them better, the childlike frankness with which they
talked was both amusing and pleasant; but many of them nevertheless
were shrewd and intelligent, and had they received anything like
adequate education, would have been able to compete with some of the
most talented of their European sisters.
As mothers, their tenderness is unequalled, but their fault here is
over-indulgence of the children, who, until ten or twelve years of age,
are permitted to do everything they like.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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