Attorney and client -- Fiction; Law firms -- Fiction; Legal stories; New York (N.Y.) -- Fiction
"And it came to pass, when she pressed him daily with
her words, and urged him, so that his soul was vexed
unto death; that he told her all his heart, and said unto
her, There hath not come a razor upon mine head; ...
if I be shaven, then my strength will go from me, and I
shall become weak and be like any other man."
--JUDGES XVI, 16, 17.
"Have you seen '76 Fed.' anywhere, Mr. Tutt?" inquired Tutt, appearing
suddenly in the doorway of his partner's office.
Mr. Tutt looked up from Page 364 of the opinion he was perusing in "The
United States vs. One Hundred and Thirty-two Packages of Spirituous
Liquors and Wines."
"Got it here in front of me," he answered shortly. "What do you want it
for?"
Tutt looked over his shoulder.
"That's a grand name for a case, isn't it? 'Packages of Wines!'" he
chuckled. "I made a note once of a matter entitled 'United States vs.
Forty-three Cases of Frozen Eggs'; and of another called 'United States
vs. One Feather Mattress and One Hundred and Fifty Pounds of
Butter'--along in 197 Federal Reports, if I remember correctly. And you
recall that accident case we had--Bump against the Railroad?"
"You can't tell me anything about names," remarked Mr. Tutt. "I once
tried a divorce action. Fuss against Fuss; and another, Love against
Love. Do you really want this book?"
"Not if you are using it," replied Tutt. "I just wanted to show an
authority to Mr. Sorg, the president of the Fat and Skinny Club. You
know our application for a certificate of incorporation was denied
yesterday by Justice McAlpin."
"No, I didn't know it," returned Mr. Tutt. "Why?"
"Here's his memorandum in the Law Journal," answered his partner. "Read
it for yourself":
Matter of Fat and Skinny Club, Inc. This is an
application for approval of a certificate of incorporation
as a membership corporation. The stated purposes are
to promote and encourage social intercourse and good
fellowship and to advance the interests of the community.
The name selected is the Fat and Skinny Club. If this
be the most appropriate name descriptive of its membership
it is better that it remain unincorporated. Application
denied.
"Now who says the law isn't the perfection of common sense?" ruminated
Mr. Tutt. "Its general principles are magnificent."
"And yet," mused Tutt, "only last week Judge McAlpin granted the
petition of one Solomon Swackhamer to change his name to Phillips Brooks
Vanderbilt. Is that right? Is that justice? Is it equity? I ask
you!--when he turns down the Fat and Skinnies?"
"Oh, yes it is," retorted Mr. Tutt. "When you consider that Mr.
Swackhamer could have assumed the appellation of P.B. Vanderbilt or any
other name he chose without asking the court's permission at all."
"What!" protested Tutt incredulously.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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