MALVOLIO.
O, ho! do you come near me now? no worse man than Sir Toby to
look to me! This concurs directly with the letter: she sends him
on purpose, that I may appear stubborn to him; for she incites me
to that in the letter. 'Cast thy humble slough,' says she; 'be
opposite with kinsman, surly with servants; let thy tongue tang
with arguments of state; put thyself into the trick of
singularity'; and, consequently, sets down the manner how; as, a
sad face, a reverend carriage, a slow tongue, in the habit of
some sir of note, and so forth. I have lim'd her; but it is
Jove's doing, and Jove make me thankful! And when she went away
now, 'Let this fellow be look'd to'; fellow! not Malvolio, nor
after my degree, but fellow. Why, every thing adheres together,
that no dram of a scruple, no scruple of a scruple, no obstacle,
no incredulous or unsafe circumstance,-- what can be said?
Nothing that can be can come between me and the full prospect of
my hopes. Well, Jove, not I, is the doer of this, and he is to be
thank'd.
[Re-enter MARIA, with SIR TOBY and FABIAN.]
SIR TOBY.
Which way is he, in the name of sanctity? If all the devils of
hell be drawn in little, and Legion himself possessed him, yet I
'll speak to him.
FABIAN.
Here he is, here he is. How is 't with you, sir? how is 't with
you, man?
MALVOLIO.
Go off; I discard you: let me enjoy my private; go off.
MARIA.
Lo, how hollow the fiend speaks within him! did not I tell you?
Sir Toby, my lady prays you to have a care of him.
MALVOLIO.
Ah, ha! does she so?
SIR TOBY.
Go to, go to; peace, peace; we must deal gently with him: let me
alone. How do you, Malvolio? how is 't with you? What, man! defy
the devil; consider, he 's an enemy to mankind.
MALVOLIO.
Do you know what you say?
MARIA.
La you, and you speak ill of the devil, how he takes it at heart!
Pray God, he be not bewitch'd! My lady would not lose him for
more than I 'll say.
MALVOLIO.
How now, mistress!
MARIA.
O Lord!
SIR TOBY.
Prithee, hold thy peace; this is not the way: do you not see you
move him? let me alone with him.
FABIAN.
No way but gentleness; gently, gently: the fiend is rough, and
will not be roughly us'd.
SIR TOBY.
Why, how now, my bawcock! how dost thou, chuck?
MALVOLIO.
Sir!
SIR TOBY.
Ay, Biddy, come with me. What, man! 't is not for gravity to play
at cherry-pit with Satan. Hang him, foul collier!
MARIA.
Get him to say his prayers; good Sir Toby, get him to pray.
MALVOLIO.
My prayers, minx!
MARIA.
No, I warrant you, he will not hear of godliness.
MALVOLIO.
Go, hang yourselves all! you are idle shallow things. I am not of
your element; you shall know more hereafter.
[Exit.]
SIR TOBY.
Is 't possible?
FABIAN.
If this were play'd upon a stage now, I could condemn it as an
improbable fiction.
SIR TOBY.
His very genius hath taken the infection of the device, man.
MARIA.
Nay, pursue him now, lest the device take air and taint.
FABIAN.
Why, we shall make him mad indeed.
MARIA.
The house will be the quieter.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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