He became so accustomed to conversing with me as to enable him to understand almost every thing I said by the motion of my lips. For these services he paid me one dollar per day and expenses. I used to amuse myself a great deal at his expense and misfortune. He owned and drove an old black mare with the "string-halt" and so high-spirited that the least urging would set her going like a whirlwind. Whenever we came to a rough piece of road I would sit back in my seat and cluck and urge her on in an undertone, when she would lay her ears back and dash ahead at lightning speed. [Illustration: SEE 'ER GO! SEE 'ER GO! THE CRAZY OLD FOOL, SEE 'ER GO.--PAGE 39.] Mr. Smith unable to hear me or to understand the reason for this, would hang on to the reins as she dashed ahead, and say: "See 'er go! See 'er go! The ---- old fool, see 'er go! Did you ever see such a crazy ---- old fool as she is? See 'er go! See 'er go! Every time she comes to a rough piece of road she lights out as if the d----l was after her. See 'er go! The crazy old fool. See 'er go!" It was alone laughable to see the old mare travel at a high rate of speed on account of lifting her hind feet so very high in consequence of her "string-halt" affliction. As soon as the rough road was passed over I would quit urging her, and she would quiet down to her usual gait. Then Lute, with a look of disgust, would declare that he would trade the ---- crazy old fool off the very first chance he had "if he had to take a goat even up for her." One day we drove up to a farmer who was working in the garden, and Lute inquired at the top of his voice if he had any sheep to sell. The man said he did not, and never had owned a sheep in his life. I waited until Mr. Smith looked at me for the man's answer when I said: "Yes, he has some for sale." Then a conversation about as follows ensued: _Smith_--"Are they wethers or ewes?" _Farmer_--"I told you I had none for sale." _Interpreter_--In undertone, "Wethers." _Smith_--"Are they fat?" _Farmer_--"Fat nothing. I tell you I have no sheep." _Interpreter_--"Very fleshy." _Smith_--"About how much will they weigh?" _Farmer_--"Oh, go on about your business." _Interpreter_--"Six hundred pounds each." _Smith_--"Great Heavens! Do you claim to own a flock of sheep that average that weight?" _Interpreter_--"He says that's what he claims." _Smith_--"Where are they? I would like to see just one sheep of that weight." _Farmer_--Disgusted and fighting mad--"O, you are too gosh darn smart for this country." _Interpreter_--"He says you had better not call him a liar." _Smith_--"Who in thunder called you a liar?" _Farmer_--"Well, you had better _not_ call me a liar, either." _Interpreter_--"He says you can't beat him out of any sheep." _Smith_--"Who wants to beat you out of your sheep, you chump? I can pay for all I buy." _Farmer_--looking silly--"Well that's all right. When did you get out of the asylum?"