"Oh, thunder! all that ails you is that you are jealous because I am doing more business than you are." "Holy Moses!" he quickly replied, flying into another rage, "you think now, you know more than all the profession, don't you?" "Well, I feel that I have something to be proud of. We have been out nearly three weeks, and I have taken the only money that we have received." He then wanted to know if I didn't expect to turn the five dollars into the business. I told him I did, but thought it a good idea for us to get out some special circulars advertising myself, and see if we couldn't raise a few dollars. This was too much for the Doctor, and he went off "like shot out of a gun." He declared me a perfect ass. I said further: "But, Doctor, I think I am superior to you in one respect." "In what?" "Well, I have more brains than impecuniosity, anyhow." This was the signal for another stampede. We remained there several days, and finally became completely stranded. The Doctor worried, fretted, stormed, fumed, and declared I was to blame for the whole cussed thing. I then, began to talk about going out "hus'ling" again. "Oh, yes; it's well enough for you to talk. You can 'hus'le,' but what can I do? I'd look nice running around peddling your cussed old dope, wouldn't I?" I remarked that I thought he would do well among the Dutch and Irish, if he didn't use too much impecuniosity, and would learn to take their money when they offered it. He said I hadn't the sense of a young gosling, and if I didn't quit twitting him of those things, he would pack up and leave, if he had to walk out of town. I said to him: "Well, Doctor, if you do start out on foot, I'd advise you to take a few bottles of my Incomprehensible Compound, double-distilled furniture and piano lustre." He gazed at me over his spectacles with a sickly smile, then jumping to his feet, began his customary tirade, and pranced back and forth like a caged animal. [Illustration] CHAPTER XX. ENGAGED TO MANAGE THE HOTEL--THE DOCTOR MY STAR BOARDER--DISCHARGING ALL THE HELP--HIRING THEM OVER AGAIN--THE DOCTOR AS TABLE WAITER--THE LANDLADY AND THE DOCTOR COLLIDE--THE ARRIVAL OF TWO HUS'LERS--HOW I MANAGED THEM--THE LANDLADY GOES VISITING--I RE-MODELED THE HOUSE--MY CHAMBERMAID ELOPES--HIRING A DUTCHMAN TO TAKE HER PLACE--DUTCHY IN DISGUISE--I FOOLED THE DOCTOR--DUTCHY AND THE IRISH SHOEMAKER. We held frequent consultations, and discussed the situation with a feeling that our prospects were not the brightest. I again ventured to suggest that I ought to get out and "hus'le," as winter would soon be upon us, and my family would need money. This threw him into a frenzy at once, and he reminded me that to leave him there in that predicament would be a violation of faith and true business principles. He seemed determined that we should live or die together. One day I said to him: "Doctor, the old landlady ought to have some one to manage her business, and----"