"Well," he quickly answered, "I'd make a devilish fine appearance trying to run this dizzy old house, wouldn't I?" "No, but why couldn't I run it, and you be my 'star' boarder?" "Well, that'll do, that'll do; that's different, quite different." "You know, Doctor," said I, "we are in debt for board, and whatever we undertake must be done with much care and precision. Now, you go to the old landlady and tell her I am a practical hotel man, and the most trustworthy, energetic, economical and pushing sort of fellow you ever knew; and that she ought to hire me to take full charge of the house." This idea pleased him mightily, and he said he believed he could fix it, and would try. "Yes, I believe you can, if it can be done, for I know the old lady is a little bit gone on you, any how. I remember of seeing you and her in the up-stairs hall, the other day, talking in a way that showed pretty plainly how things stand." "Well there!" he screamed, "that's the latest. Now you'll have something else to harp on, you young scapegrace, and without the slightest foundation for it. Do you think I am a fool? Do you think I'd recommend you to that old lady, when you are on the verge of scandalizing both her and myself? Not much--not much, sir; and I'll sue you for slander if you ever hint such a thing; and I'll get judgment, too, and----" "Yes," I interrupted, "and I suppose you would attach my dozen bottles of Incomprehensible Compound to satisfy the judgment." I then convinced him that I was only joking. Shortly afterwards he called on the old lady, and did as I requested. She called me into the sitting-room and asked how I thought I would like to take charge of her house. I told her I would take the position provided I could have full charge of everything, the same as if I owned the house. She said that was just what she would like, and inquired what salary I wanted. I told her one hundred dollars per month, and board for family. She offered me seventy-five, and agreed to sign papers. I accepted, and the next morning took possession. My first move was to call the help all together and promptly discharge them. The old lady came running down stairs, as soon as she heard of this, and demanded an explanation. I reminded her that I was landlord, and that if she would retire to her room and remain there quietly, all would come out right. The Doctor said I knew less about running a hotel than I did about medicine, or I never would have done such a trick as that. I waited till the discharged help were ready to leave, and had called at the office for their pay, when I began a compromise, and succeeded in hiring all over again except two dining-room girls, at less than their regular wages. But I promised an increase to those who took an interest and worked for an advancement. The Doctor was elated with the prospects, and fairly danced with delight.