Ghosts -- Fiction; Invalids -- Fiction; Women authors -- Fiction
“My darling, my more than treasure. I can’t doubt you, and yet I am
riven with doubt. Forgive me, but how can you forgive me if I am wrong?
Tell me again, tell me once and for always that nothing has been going
on of which I have been kept in ignorance, that you would not, could not
have broken your word to me. You look ill, scared.... I know now that
from the moment I came you have not been yourself, your beautiful candid
self. Margaret, crown of my life, sweetheart; darling, speak, tell me.
Is there anything I ought to know?” He spoke with ineffable tenderness.
He was bending over her, holding her, her heart beat against his heart;
she would have answered had she been able. But when her words came they
were no answer to his.
“Darling, how strange you are! There is certainly nothing you ought to
know. Let me go and get my things off. How strange that you should doubt
me, that you should rather believe that dreadful woman. I have never
seen her since you were down here last, nor heard from her....”
Her cheeks flamed and were hidden against his coat, she hated her own
disingenuousness. It had been difficult to tell him, now it was
impossible. “Let me go.”
He released her and she went over to the looking-glass, adjusted her
veil. She had burnt her boats, now there was nothing for it but denial
and more denial. Thoughts went in and out of her aching head like forked
lightning. _He would never know. Peter would arrange, Peter would
manage._ It was a dreadful thing she had done, dreadful. But she had
been driven to it. If the time would come over again ... but time never
does come over again. She must play her part and play it boldly. She was
trembling inside, but outwardly he saw her preening herself before the
glass as she talked to him.
“I think we have had enough of Mrs. Roope. You haven’t half admired my
frock. I have a great mind not to wear my new teagown tonight. I should
resent it being ignored. We ought to go out again until dinner, the
afternoon is lovely. I can’t sit on the beach in this, but I need only
slip on an old skirt. Shall I put on another skirt? Do you feel in the
humour for the beach? I’ve a thousand questions to ask you. I seem to
have been down here by myself for an age. I have actually started a
book! What do you say to that? I want to tell you about it. What has
been decided about the door-plates? What did the parents say when they
heard I’d fled?”
“I didn’t see them until the next day.”
“Had they recovered?”
“They were resigned. I promised to bring you back with me on Monday.”
“And now you don’t want to?”
“How can you say that?”
“Did I say it? My mood is frivolous, you mustn’t take me too seriously.
The beach ... you haven’t answered about the beach. Perhaps you’d rather
walk. I don’t mind adventuring this skirt if we walk.”
“You are not too tired?”
“How conventional!”
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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