Ghosts -- Fiction; Invalids -- Fiction; Women authors -- Fiction
Something had come between them, some summer cloud or thunderstorm. Try
as they would during the remainder of the day they could not break
through or see each other as clearly as before. Margaret talked
frivolously, or seriously, rallied, jested with him. He struggled to
keep up with her, to take his tone from hers, to be natural. But both of
them were acutely aware of failure, of artificiality. The walk, the
dinner, the short evening failed to better the situation. When they bade
each other good-night he made one more effort.
“You find it impossible to forgive me?”
“There is nothing I would not forgive you. That’s the essential
difference between us,” she answered lightly.
“There is no essential difference; don’t say it.”
“The day has been something of a failure, don’t you think? But then so
was the day when you cut yourself shaving.” She maintained the flippant
tone. “That came right. Perhaps tomorrow when we meet we shall find each
other wholly adorable again.” She would not be serious, was light,
frivolous to the last. “Good-night. Don’t paint devils, don’t see
ghosts. Tomorrow everything may be as before. Kiss me good-night. Sleep
well!” He kissed her, hesitated, kept her in the shelter of his arms:
“Margaret....” She freed herself:
“No. I know that tone. It means more questions. You ought to have lived
in the time of the Spanish Inquisition. Don’t you wish you could put me
on the rack? There _is_ a touch of the inquisitor about you. I never
noticed it before.... Good-night!”
CHAPTER XV
Margaret slept ill that night. Round and round in her unhappy mind
swirled the irrefutable fact that she had lied to her lover, and that he
knew she had lied. Broken her promise, her oath; and he knew that she
was forsworn. She passionately desired his respect; in all things he had
been on his knees before her. If he were no longer there she would find
the change of attitude difficult to endure. Yet in the watches of the
night she clung to the hope that he could know nothing definitely. He
might suspect or divine, but he could not know. She counted on Peter
Kennedy, trusted that when the five hundred pounds were paid the woman
would be satisfied, would go quietly away, that nothing more would ever
be heard of her.
Wednesday next they were to be married. She told herself that if she had
lost anything she would regain it then. Perhaps she would tell him, but
not until after she had re-won him. She knew her power. If, too, she
distrusted it, sensing something in him incorruptible and granite-hard,
she took faint and feverish consolation by reminding herself that it was
night-time, when all troubles look their worst. She resolutely refused
to consider the permanent loss of that which she now knew she valued
more than life itself. The possibility intruded, but she would not look.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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