Ghosts -- Fiction; Invalids -- Fiction; Women authors -- Fiction
In short snatches of troubled sleep she lived again through the scenes
of the afternoon, saw him doubt, heard him question, gave flippant
answers. In oases of wakefulness she felt his arms about her, and the
restrained kisses that were like vows; conjured up thrilled moments when
she knew how well he loved her. She began to dread those nightmare
sleeps, and to force herself to keep awake. At four o’clock she consoled
herself that it would soon be daylight. At five o’clock, after a
desperate short nightmare of estrangement from which she awoke,
quick-pulsed and pallid, she got up and put on a dressing-gown, drew up
the blind, and opened wide the window. She watched the slow dawn and in
the darkness heard the breakers on the stony beach. Nature calmed and
quieted her. She began to think her fears had been foolish, to believe
that she had not only played for safety but secured it, that the coming
day would bring her the Gabriel she knew best, the humble and adoring
lover. She pictured their coming together, his dear smile and restored
confidence. He would have forgotten yesterday. The dawn she was watching
illumined and lightened the sky. Soon the sun would rise grandly,
already his place was roseate-hued. “Red sky in the morning is the
shepherd’s warning,” runs the old proverb. But Margaret had never heard,
or had forgotten it. To her the roseate dawn was all promise. The day
before them should be exquisite as yesterday, and weld them with its
warmth. She would withhold nothing from him, nothing of her love. Then
peace would fall between them? and the renewal of love? At six o’clock
she pulled down the blinds and went back to bed again, where for two
hours she slept dreamlessly. Stevens woke her with the inevitable tea.
“It can’t be morning yet? It is hardly light.” She struggled with her
drowsiness. “I don’t hear rain, do I?”
“There’s no saying what you hear, but it’s raining sure enough, a
miserable morning for May.”
“May! But it is nearly June!”
“I’m not gainsaying the calendar.”
“Pull up the blind.”
A short time before she had gazed on a roseate dawn, now rain was
driving pitilessly across the landscape, and all the sky was grey. No
longer could she hear the breakers on the shore. All she heard was the
rain. Stevens shut the window.
“You’d best not be getting up early. There’s nothing to get up for on a
morning like this. It’s not as if you was in the habit of going to
church.” Margaret was conscious of depression. Stevens’s grumbling kept
it at bay, and she detained her on one excuse or another; tried to
extract humour from her habitual dissatisfaction.
“It will be like this all day, you see if it isn’t. The rain is coming
down straight, too, and the smoke’s blowing all ways.” She changed the
subject abruptly, as maids will, intent on her duties. “I’ll have to be
getting out your clothes. What do you think you’ll wear?”
“I meant to try my new whipcord.”
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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