The evening closed upon me. The shadows lengthened, deepened, mingled
together into a pool of twilight in which the flower-beds glowed like
coloured embers; whiffs of heavy scent came to me as if the dusk of this
hemisphere were but the dimness of a temple and the garden an enormous
censer swinging before the altar of the stars. The colours of the
blossoms deepened, losing their glow one by one.
The girl, when I turned my head at a slight noise, appeared to me very
tall and slender, advancing with a swaying limp, a floating and uneven
motion which ended in the sinking of her shadowy form into the deep low
chair. And I don’t know why or whence I received the impression that she
had come too late. She ought to have appeared at my call. She ought to
have . . . It was as if a supreme opportunity had been missed.
I rose and took a seat close to her, nearly opposite her arm-chair. Her
ever discontented voice addressed me at once, contemptuously:
“You are still here.”
I pitched mine low.
“You have come out at last.”
“I came to look for my shoe—before they bring in the lights.”
It was her harsh, enticing whisper, subdued, not very steady, but its low
tremulousness gave me no thrill now. I could only make out the oval of
her face, her uncovered throat, the long, white gleam of her eyes. She
was mysterious enough. Her hands were resting on the arms of the chair.
But where was the mysterious and provoking sensation which was like the
perfume of her flower-like youth? I said quietly:
“I have got your shoe here.” She made no sound and I continued: “You had
better give me your foot and I will put it on for you.”
She made no movement. I bent low down and groped for her foot under the
flounces of the wrapper. She did not withdraw it and I put on the shoe,
buttoning the instep-strap. It was an inanimate foot. I lowered it
gently to the floor.
“If you buttoned the strap you would not be losing your shoe, Miss Don’t
Care,” I said, trying to be playful without conviction. I felt more like
wailing over the lost illusion of vague desire, over the sudden
conviction that I would never find again near her the strange, half-evil,
half-tender sensation which had given its acrid flavour to so many days,
which had made her appear tragic and promising, pitiful and provoking.
That was all over.
“Your father picked it up,” I said, thinking she may just as well be told
of the fact.
“I am not afraid of papa—by himself,” she declared scornfully.
“Oh! It’s only in conjunction with his disreputable associates,
strangers, the ‘riff-raff of Europe’ as your charming aunt or great-aunt
says—men like me, for instance—that you—”
“I am not afraid of you,” she snapped out.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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