All this, perhaps, was rather like a play to Bertram, who saw everything
with a certain unconscious exercise of that literary faculty which he
had just found so little impressive to the people among whom he found
himself. They were very kind people, and had received him confidingly,
asking no questions, not even wondering, as they might have done, what
queer companion Ralph had picked up. Indeed, he was not at all like
Ralph, though circumstances had made them close comrades. Perhaps if
they could have read his life as he thought he could read theirs, they
might not have opened their doors to him with such perfect trust. He had
(had he?) the ruin of a woman’s happiness on his heart, and the
destruction of many hopes. He had been wandering about the world for a
number of years, never knowing how to make up his mind on this question.
Was it indeed his fault? Was it her fault? Were they both to blame?
Perhaps the last was the truth; but he knew very well he would never get
her, or any one, to confess or to believe that. There are some cases in
which the woman has certainly the best of it; and when the man who has
been the means of bringing a young, fair, blameless creature into great
trouble, even if he never meant it, is hopelessly put in the wrong even
when there may be something to be said for him. He was himself
bewildered now and then when he thought it all over, wondering if
indeed there might be something to be said for him. But if he could not
even satisfy himself of that, how should he ever satisfy the world? He
was a little stirred up and uncomfortable that night, he could scarcely
tell why, for the brewing troubles of the Wradisleys, if it was trouble
that was brewing, was unlikely to affect a stranger. Ralph, indeed, had
been grumbling in his beard with complaints over what was in fact the
blamelessness of his brother, but it did not trouble Bertram that his
host should be too perfect a man. He had quite settled in his own mind
what it was that was going to happen. The widow, no doubt, was some
pretty adventuress who, by means of the mother and sister, had
established a hold over the immaculate one, and meant to marry him and
turn her patronesses adrift--the commonest story, vulgar, even. And the
ladies would really have nothing to complain of, for Wradisley was
certainly old enough to choose for himself, and might have married and
turned off his mother to her jointure house years ago, and no harm
done. It was not this that made Bertram sleepless and nervous, who
really had so little to do with them, and no call to fight their
battles. Perhaps it was the sensation of being in England, and within
the rules of common life again, after long disruption from all ordinary
circumstances of ordinary living. He to plunge into garden parties, and
common encounters of men and women! He might meet some one who knew him,
who would ask him questions, and attempt to piece his life together with
guesses and conjectures.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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