“Never picks a quarrel, you understand—in fact, used to need the deuce of a lot of provocation before he would give of his best; but once he started—golly! I’ve seen that man clean out a bar at Marseilles in a way that fascinated you. A bar filled to overflowing with A.B.’s and firemen, mind you, and all capable of felling oxen with a blow. Six of them there were, and they kept swatting Billson with all the vim and heartiness at their disposal, but he just let them bounce off, and went on with the business in hand. The man’s a champion, laddie, nothing less. You couldn’t hurt him with a hatchet, and every time he hits anyone all the undertakers in the place jump up and make bids for the body. And the amazing bit of luck is that he was looking for a job ashore. It appears he’s fallen in love with one of the barmaids at the Crown in Kennington. Not,” said Ukridge, so that all misapprehension should be avoided, “the one with the squint. The other one. Flossie. The girl with yellow hair.” “I don’t know the barmaids at the Crown in Kennington,” I said. “Nice girls,” said Ukridge, paternally. “So it was all right, you see. Our interests were identical. Good old Billson isn’t what you’d call a very intelligent chap, but I managed to make him understand after an hour or so, and we drew up the contract. I’m to get fifty per cent. of everything in consideration of managing him, fixing up fights, and looking after him generally.” “And looking after him includes tucking him up on my sofa and singing him to sleep?” Again that pained look came into Ukridge’s face. He gazed at me as if I had disappointed him. “You keep harping on that, laddie, and it isn’t the right spirit. Anyone would think that we had polluted your damned room.” “Well, you must admit that having this coming champion of yours in the home is going to make things a bit crowded.” “Don’t worry about that, my dear old man,” said Ukridge, reassuringly. “We move to the White Hart at Barnes to-morrow, to start training. I’ve got Billson an engagement in one of the preliminaries down at Wonderland two weeks from to-night.” “No; really?” I said, impressed by this enterprise. “How did you manage it?”