Wall I noticed up in one end of the car thar wuz a little round masheen, and the conductor had a clothes line tied to it, and every time he got a nickel he'd yank on that clothes line, and fust it sed in and then it sed out, I couldn't tell what all them little ins and outs meant, but I jist cum to the conclusion it showed how much the conductor wuz in and the company wuz out. Wall I got to talkin' to that feller on the front end of the car, and he wuz a purty nice sort of a feller, he showed me how every thing worked and told me all about it, wall when I got off I sed--good bye, mister, hope I'll see you agin some time, and he sed, "oh, I'll run across you one of these days," I told him by gosh he wouldn't run across me if I seen him a comin'. My Fust Pair of Copper Toed Boots THAR'S a feelin' of pleasure, mixed in with some pain, That over my memory scoots, When I think of my boyhood days once again And my fust pair of copper toed boots. How our folks stood around when I fust tried them on, And bravely marched out on the floor, And father remarked "thar a mighty good fit And the best to be had at the store." That night, I remember, I took them to bed, With the rest of us little galoots, And among other things in my prars which I sed Wuz a reference to copper toed boots. And then in the mornin' the fust one on hand Wuz me and my new acquisition, And thar wuzn't a spot in the house that I missed, From the garret clar down to the kitchen. Then with feelin's expandin', and huntin' fer room, I concluded I'd help do the chores; Fer I felt as though somethin' wuz goin' to bust If I didn't git right out of doors. But those boots they were new, and the ice it wuz slick, And I couldn't get one way or tother, And I jist had to stand right there in one spot And holler like thunder fer mother. But trouble's a blessing sometimes in disguise Fer I larned right thar on the spot, That the best sort of knowledge to hav in this world Is that by experience taught. So though many years have since passed away, And I've ventured on various routes, I'm still tryin' things jist as risky today As my fust pair of copper toed boots. Uncle Josh in Police Court