I'd like to have you all cum down to Punkin Centre and see MEE some time this summer, if you hadn't got nuthin' else to do. Lots of fun down thar on that farm of mine, huntin', fishin', and shootin', and other things. Wall, I never shot but one bird in my life, and that wuz a squirrel; yes, sir, a flyin' squirrel. I had a feller workin' fer me on the farm last summer, and he was cross-eyed, and I sent him out in the paster to dig a well fer me, and what do you s'pose? Wall he dug it so tarnal all-fired crooked that he fell out of it and sprained his ankel. Then one day I sent him out in the garden to plant some pertaters and some unyuns fer me, and it jist seemed like that feller didn't have good hoss sense. He planted them unyuns and pertaters right alongside of each other, and the unyuns got into the pertaters' eyes and they couldn't see to grow. Oh, yes, lots of fun down home onct in a while. I calculate I've got the funnyest lot of chickens you ever heerd tell on. I've got sixty old hens and they lay an egg every day; but they don't lay any at nite, cos when nite comes every one of them is roosters. I had one old hen, she went into the woodshed and sot down on the ax and tried to hatch-it. I had another one sottin' on a door knob, tryin' to hatch out a house and lot, but she didn't. While she wuz a-sottin' there along cum a rooster, and he sed, "We're having a little party down behind the barn; will you dance with me this set?" and she sed, "No, sir, I'm engaged to his nobs for this set." Gosh, I wuz afraid to go out in the barnyard one while, cos one day when I wuz out thar I heerd a hen say to a rooster, "Thar's that old gray-headed cuss we've bin a-layin' fer." Guess that's my train; s'pose I'll have to be a-goin'; good-bye; cum down and see me some time if you kin, ev'ry one of ye; cum down about apple-butter time and jist butt in--good bye. Yosemite Jim, or a Tale of the Great White Death YOSEMITE JIM wuz the name he had, And he came from no one knowed whar; Quiet, easy goin' sort of a cuss, And wuz reckoned on the squar'. Ridin' a route for the Wells Fargo folks May have made him stern and grim; But thar wasn't a man that crossed the divide But 'ud swar by Yosemite Jim. He wa'n't one of the regular sort What you'd meet thar any day, But as near as the camp could figure it out, In a show down he'd likely stay. A shambling, awkward figure, Rawboned, tall and slim, And his schaps and togs in general Jist looked like they'd fell on him. I wuz somewhat of a tenderfoot then, Hadn't jist got the lay of the land; Thar wuz a good many things in them thar parts As I couldn't quite understand. But I took a likin' to Yosemite Jim, Wuz with him on my very first trick; And from that time on I stuck to him Like a kitten to a good warm brick.