'So she will in her time, but that is not come yet; and I tell you, Austin Ruthyn, if you won't look about and marry somebody, somebody may possibly marry you.' 'You were always an oracle, Monica; but _here_ I am lost in total perplexity,' said my father. 'Yes; sharks sailing round you, with keen eyes and large throats; and you have come to the age precisely when men _are_ swallowed up alive like Jonah.' 'Thank you for the parallel, but you know that was not a happy union, even for the fish, and there was a separation in a few days; not that I mean to trust to that; but there's no one to throw me into the jaws of the monster, and I've no notion of jumping there; and the fact is, Monica, there's no monster at all.' 'I'm not so sure.' 'But I'm quite sure,' said my father, a little drily. 'You forget how old I am, and how long I've lived alone--I and little Maud;' and he smiled and smoothed my hair, and, I thought, sighed. 'No one is ever too old to do a foolish thing,' began Lady Knollys. 'Nor to say a foolish thing, Monica. This has gone on too long. Don't you see that little Maud here is silly enough to be frightened at your fun.' So I was, but I could not divine how he guessed it. 'And well or ill, wisely or madly, I'll _never_ marry; so put that out of your head.' This was addressed rather to me, I think, than to Lady Knollys, who smiled a little waggishly on me, and said-- 'To be sure, Maud; maybe you are right; a stepdame is a risk, and I ought to have asked you first what you thought of it; and upon my honour,' she continued merrily but kindly, observing that my eyes, I know not exactly from what feeling, filled with tears, 'I'll never again advise your papa to marry, unless you first tell me you wish it.' This was a great deal from Lady Knollys, who had a taste for advising her friends and managing their affairs. 'I've a great respect for instinct. I believe, Austin, it is truer than reason, and yours and Maud's are both against me, though I know I have reason on my side.' My father's brief wintry smile answered, and Cousin Monica kissed me, and said-- 'I've been so long my own mistress that I sometimes forget there are such things as fear and jealousy; and are you going to your governess, Maud?' CHAPTER XIV _ANGRY WORDS_ I was going to my governess, as Lady Knollys said; and so I went. The undefinable sense of danger that smote me whenever I beheld that woman had deepened since last night's occurrence, and was taken out of the region of instinct or prepossession by the strange though slight indications of recognition and abhorrence which I had witnessed in Lady Knollys on that occasion.