Sea stories, American; Seafaring life -- Fiction; Short stories, American
"I saw him take her in his arms. So he had found ... this, beyond what
he had hoped. Another wave of irritation at his heartlessness swept over
me. I turned away angrily—then paused a moment, considering the true
nature of the phenomenon that had appeared before me as if out of the
sky. I felt that he hadn’t sought this new entanglement. No, but he
had evidently accepted it. Yet the woman had furnished the motive
force, literally had flung herself at his head. Nonsense!—why be a
prudish ass? It wasn’t in the least a matter of morals; why persist,
then, in viewing it on the moral plane? Incurable habit of
conventionality, never so strong as when we strive to be unconventional!
Here was a meeting of instincts and elements, a transaction in lucid
terms, according to a simple formula. It was a phase of God’s
excruciating biological experiment. She wanted him alone, and had taken
her way to get him. He was receptive, for he wanted love. Could she
have awakened love in him, he would not have denied it. Failing that,
he would be forced to seek elsewhere. In the meantime, why repel divine
experience? ... But the shocking callousness of this experiment! While
he dallied, detached and unconcerned, his life had been refreshed as if
at a fountain of vitality. His heart sang with the knowledge that she
loved him; he was happy, whole, and conscious of his power again. He’d
said that he had recovered his self-respect—a curious choice of words,
in view of the occasion; but now I understood what he had meant....
This had been her priceless gift to him.
"A quick exclamation outside drew me again to the window—could you
fellows have kept away? He was trying to disengage her arms from about
his neck. ’It cannot be!’ said he decisively ’It is impossible! So,
to save greater pain, I will go at once’
"She clung to him desperately. ’I do not understand’ she cried.
"’Dear heart’ he answered ’I have seen too much, and failed too
miserably, to want the spell to fall on you. All that I touch turns to
ashes; whoever enters my life is cursed with my own pain’
"She gazed deeply into his eyes. ’I am not afraid’ said she ’It is for
this I love. For what is past, I have no memory. To-day lives,
to-morrow we carry with us like a child unborn, but yesterday is dead.
What do you seek? Love? Have I not given you all?’ She threw out her
arm in a sweeping gesture ’My love will never fail!’ she cried.
"’I prize your love above all else’ said he.
"’What do you seek?’ she cried again, springing away, confronting him
with a savage crouching intensity. ’Faith? Happiness? Peace? All are
here. My people will honour you, for I am noble in the hills. What do
you seek? Ask, and I will give!’
"He leaned toward her, held her at arm’s length, returned her gaze. I
heard him heave a sigh.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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