India -- History -- British occupation, 1765-1947 -- Fiction; Short stories, English
‘You’ve misunderstood the compliment,’ said Mrs. Mallowe. ‘He clears
you completely and ahem I should think by this, that he has cleared
completely too. My experience of men is that when they begin to quote
poetry they are going to flit. Like swans singing before they die, you
know.’
‘Polly, you take my sorrows in a most unfeeling way.’
‘Do I? Is it so terrible? If he’s hurt your vanity, I should say that
you’ve done a certain amount of damage to his heart.’
‘Oh, you can never tell about a man!’ said Mrs. Hauksbee.
AT THE PIT’S MOUTH
Men say it was a stolen tide
The Lord that sent it He knows all,
But in mine ear will aye abide
The message that the bells let fall--
And awesome bells they were to me,
That in the dark rang, ‘Enderby.’
--Jean Ingelow
Once upon a time there was a Man and his Wife and a Tertium Quid.
All three were unwise, but the Wife was the unwisest. The Man should
have looked after his Wife, who should have avoided the Tertium Quid,
who, again, should have married a wife of his own, after clean and
open flirtations, to which nobody can possibly object, round Jakko or
Observatory Hill. When you see a young man with his pony in a white
lather and his hat on the back of his head, flying downhill at fifteen
miles an hour to meet a girl who will be properly surprised to meet
him, you naturally approve of that young man, and wish him Staff
appointments, and take an interest in his welfare, and, as the proper
time comes, give them sugar-tongs or side-saddles according to your
means and generosity.
The Tertium Quid flew downhill on horseback, but it was to meet the
Man’s Wife; and when he flew uphill it was for the same end. The Man
was in the Plains, earning money for his Wife to spend on dresses and
four-hundred-rupee bracelets, and inexpensive luxuries of that kind. He
worked very hard, and sent her a letter or a post-card daily. She also
wrote to him daily, and said that she was longing for him to come up to
Simla. The Tertium Quid used to lean over her shoulder and laugh as she
wrote the notes. Then the two would ride to the Post-office together.
Now, Simla is a strange place and its customs are peculiar; nor is
any man who has not spent at least ten seasons there qualified to pass
judgment on circumstantial evidence, which is the most untrustworthy in
the Courts. For these reasons, and for others which need not appear,
I decline to state positively whether there was anything irretrievably
wrong in the relations between the Man’s Wife and the Tertium Quid. If
there was, and hereon you must form your own opinion, it was the Man’s
Wife’s fault. She was kittenish in her manners, wearing generally an
air of soft and fluffy innocence. But she was deadlily learned and
evil-instructed; and, now and again, when the mask dropped, men saw
this, shuddered and almost drew back. Men are occasionally particular,
and the least particular men are always the most exacting.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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