World War, 1914-1918 -- Personal narratives, French
In such moments, one’s intelligence is abnormally active: one
understands instantly, and each man seems to take his own particular
rôle by instinct. I advance with Berthet to take the most forward post:
it is where adventure is most likely. The others leave us, to take
their own positions. So there we are, he and I, alone as sentinels, at
the edge of the highroad--the road which is the path of the invasion,
where rolls unceasingly as a torrent the stream of fugitives.
“You tell me what to do,” says Berthet, “I will take your orders.” “It
is very simple,” I respond, “one knee on the ground. In the deep grass
you will not be seen. For myself, I am going onto the road itself. I
will stop any one who looks suspicious. Don’t worry, and don’t let
your gun go off unless you hear me fire.” “Very well.” “Oh, another
thing! If we are attacked, we will fire, then run for the fort without
following the road. Our companions will fire, and we must cut across
the fields. Do you agree?” “Yes.”
I leave him, to take my post just at the edge of the road, eyes and
ears on the alert, finger on the trigger. A host of memories crowd my
brain. How often in other days have I stood guard in just this manner!
I recall similar hours which I experienced in China, at Tonkin, in the
Sahara. I feel once more the intense poetry which is inspired by such
a vigil: a poetry incomparable to any other; a poetry in which alert
action is mingled with the strangeness of night, with the thousand
noises of a stirring populace, with the imminence of danger, with
visions crowding up from the past, with all that surrounds us and all
that flees from us. Less than a fortnight ago, at this hour, I used
to write my daily article. My young wife, in our dainty dining-room,
was rocking the baby to sleep. Or I was correcting proof on my
forthcoming book, and she came to sit near me, her fingers busy with
some fine needlework. She always placed on my desk the flowers from
the dinner-table, and I thanked her for being so good, so pretty, so
loving and thoughtful, by a swift stolen kiss on her rosy finger-tips.
I read to her the last page I had written. She smiled and approved.
Our confidence was complete. She had faith in my ability, I rejoiced to
know that she was mine. We were so happy----
To-day, with loaded gun, with every nerve strained, I lie in wait for
an advancing enemy. My wife is far away. She has shelter, at least.
Without doubt she dreams of me, as I dream of her, and she trembles
and she fears the future, the danger, death. My brothers--where
are they?--and their wives, and our parents, and all my dear ones,
like myself, like all of France, thrown into war, into danger, into
suffering. And all the children, and all the helpless women, and old
men, all counting on us, on our stoutness of heart, to defend and to
save them.
My meditations did not in the least interfere with my watchfulness.
From time to time I stopped a passer-by.
“Halt there!”
“We are French.”
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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