Ups and Downs in the Life of a Distressed Gentleman — John Shaqi
Ups and Downs in the Life of a Distressed GentlemanStone, William L. (William Leete)
General
Ups and Downs in the Life of a Distressed Gentleman
Stone, William L. (William Leete)
New York (State) -- Fiction
Continuation of the subject--Pawn-brokers' shops good
schools of study for the philosopher--Illustration of
intemperance--A loving husband--How to provide for one's
household--A young man about town--A benevolent gambler--A
shark in trouble--Unexpected development--An interesting
stranger--Gems--How to embezzle a jewel--The lady's
history--Ship of war going to sea--Forebodings--West India
climate and scenery--Venus and her glittering train--A
hurricane and a shipwreck in which the hero has no
concern--Return from the digression--Bedstead timber 183
CHAPTER XVI.
Dilemma of Garrick and the author hereof--Evils of
prosperity--Message from a gentleman in Bridewell--Account of a
domestic civil war--Tribulations of matrimony--Gallantry of a
husband in defence of his wife--Accident to a nose with a woman
behind it--Scene in the police, the actors in which were unhappily
born in exile from their native land--Clemency of the
magistrate--What sad care some people take of their virtue--How
to divide a quarrelsome house--COMPLETION OF THE CIRCLE--THE
MORAL 207
INTRODUCTION.
The best parallel to the conduct of the silly ostrich, that thrusts her
head into a thicket, or the sand, and fancies she is thereby hidden
from view, occurred some years since in the village of Catskill. A
printer, who was neither an observer of the Sabbath, nor a member of
the Temperance Society, went to a grocery one Sunday morning for a
bottle of gin. On coming out of the dram-shop, with his decanter of
fire-water, he perceived that the services in the church near by, were
just closed, and the congregation were returning to their homes. Not
having entirely lost his self-respect, and unwilling to be seen in the
public street by the whole village, on such a day, and with such a
burden, he hastily thrust his hand, holding the bottle, behind, for the
purpose of concealing it underneath the skirts of his coat: and in this
way, apparently with the greatest possible unconcern, the disciple of
Faust walked up the street, just in advance of the congregation.
Unfortunately, however, in his haste he had thrust his decanter quite
through between the folds of his coat-skirts, so that his hands and the
neck of the bottle only were concealed; while, to the irresistible
merriment of the people, the object which he wished to hide was ten
times more the subject of observation than it could have been before.
Very much in the same predicament stands the writer of the following
pages. His intention was to publish them anonymously, if at all. But an
unauthorized annunciation of his name, in the Booksellers' Advertiser,
a few weeks since, has rendered the effort as abortive as the trick of
the foolish bird, and the expedient of the printer. The mask, thus
torn, has therefore been entirely doffed.
And now a few words as to the sketches themselves.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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