What with his wound and his fractious meditations, Pelleas soon
fell into a most dismal temper. Like most sick folk he had lost for
the time that level sense of proportion that is the sure outcome of
health. His thoughts began to gape at him, and to pull most melancholy
grimaces. Even the dead man squatting in the great chair in the manor
in Andredswold began to haunt him like an ogrish conscience. Hot and
racked, he could stand his own company at last no longer. Calling
Igraine to him, he began to unburden himself to her with regard to the
man he had done to death in the forest.
The girl listened, mild as moonlight, and ready to swear away her soul
to soothe him.
"I am troubled for the deed," he was saying, "though the man deserved
death, twenty deaths, and though I served justice to the echo. His
blood hangs on my hands, and makes me restless at heart."
"Tell me his sin, Pelleas."
"They were many, and too gross for ears such as thine."
"Then palpably he was too gross to live."
"No doubt, child."
"Then why trouble for his death, Pelleas; you would not shrink from
treading out an adder's brains?"
"Ah, but there is the man's soul. I feel for him after my own
down-bringing. What chance had he of penitence?"
"True," she said gravely, "but your mother, the Abbess Gratia, used to
tell us that bad men repented only in legends and in the Bible; never
in grim life. Besides, you prevented the man committing worse offences
in the future, and getting deeper into the pit. Why, Pelleas, hundreds
of good knights have lost life for a mere matter of love; why trouble
for the life of a wretch who perhaps never knew what truth meant. You
would not grieve for men slain in battle."
"In battle the blood is hot and the brain afire. This was a rank and
reasonable stroke."
"And therefore the more deserved. Why trouble about it, Pelleas? In
faith, since your plight makes me tyrant, I forbid such brooding. It is
but the evil fancy of a distraught mind, an incubus I must chase away.
See, your hands are hot, and your forehead too. Will you sleep again,
or shall I sing to you?"
"Presently," he said. "I have more to speak of yet."
Igraine knelt by him on her cushion, serene and tender.
"Say on, Pelleas," she said; "a woman loves a man's confidence. If I
can give you comfort I will gladly listen here till midnight. You are
not yourself, weak from loss of blood, and a gnat's sting is like a
lance thrust to you. Tell me your other troubles."
Pelleas groaned, hesitated, looked up into her eyes, and recanted
inwardly. He furbished up a minor woe to serve the occasion.
"It is my sword and shield," he said; "they were given me blessed and
consecrated by my mother. It is in my thought that I had smirched them
by this deed. What think you, girl?"
"I cannot think so," she said stoutly.
Then since his face was so wistful and troubled, she racked her fancy
for some plan she thought might soothe him. A sudden purpose came to
her like prophecy.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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