been able to gain our end.’ When the Cardinal had done, they all
commended the motion, though they had despised it when it came from me,
but more particularly commended what related to the vagabonds, because
it was his own observation.
“I do not know whether it be worth while to tell what followed, for it
was very ridiculous; but I shall venture at it, for as it is not
foreign to this matter, so some good use may be made of it. There was a
Jester standing by, that counterfeited the fool so naturally that he
seemed to be really one; the jests which he offered were so cold and
dull that we laughed more at him than at them, yet sometimes he said,
as it were by chance, things that were not unpleasant, so as to justify
the old proverb, ‘That he who throws the dice often, will sometimes
have a lucky hit.’ When one of the company had said that I had taken
care of the thieves, and the Cardinal had taken care of the vagabonds,
so that there remained nothing but that some public provision might be
made for the poor whom sickness or old age had disabled from labour,
‘Leave that to me,’ said the Fool, ‘and I shall take care of them, for
there is no sort of people whose sight I abhor more, having been so
often vexed with them and with their sad complaints; but as dolefully
soever as they have told their tale, they could never prevail so far as
to draw one penny from me; for either I had no mind to give them
anything, or, when I had a mind to do it, I had nothing to give them;
and they now know me so well that they will not lose their labour, but
let me pass without giving me any trouble, because they hope for
nothing—no more, in faith, than if I were a priest; but I would have a
law made for sending all these beggars to monasteries, the men to the
Benedictines, to be made lay-brothers, and the women to be nuns.’ The
Cardinal smiled, and approved of it in jest, but the rest liked it in
earnest. There was a divine present, who, though he was a grave morose
man, yet he was so pleased with this reflection that was made on the
priests and the monks that he began to play with the Fool, and said to
him, ‘This will not deliver you from all beggars, except you take care
of us Friars.’ ‘That is done already,’ answered the Fool, ‘for the
Cardinal has provided for you by what he proposed for restraining
vagabonds and setting them to work, for I know no vagabonds like you.’
This was well entertained by the whole company, who, looking at the
Cardinal, perceived that he was not ill-pleased at it; only the Friar
himself was vexed, as may be easily imagined, and fell into such a
passion that he could not forbear railing at the Fool, and calling him
knave, slanderer, backbiter, and son of perdition, and then cited some
dreadful threatenings out of the Scriptures against him. Now the Jester
thought he was in his element, and laid about him freely. ‘Good Friar,’
said he, ‘be not angry, for it is written, “In patience possess your
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