"But why expect to do what we want? No one can," said she. "You don't
mind my fidgeting about the room this way, do you? I seem a little out
of humor to-day--not myself at all, as I was told just now...."
V.V. said that he did not mind.
"I wonder," she went on, "if you remember something you said in your
speech the other day?--about being free.... It seemed strange to me
then, that you should have happened to say just that, for I--I've come
to realize that, in a kind of way, that's always been a wild dream of my
own.... Don't you think--where there are so many things to think about,
things and people--that it's pretty hard to be free?"
"Hard?... There's nothing else like it on earth for hardness."
V.V. stood grasping the back of an ancient walnut chair. It was seen
that he belonged in this room, simple home of poverty; different from
the girl, who was so obviously the rich exotic, the transient angel in
the house.
He added: "But it's always seemed to me worth all the price of trying."
"Oh, it is--I'm sure. And yet.... It seems to me--I've thought," said
Cally, somewhat less conversationally, "that life, for a woman,
especially, is something like one of those little toy theatres--you've
seen them?--where pasteboard actors slide along in little grooves when
you pull their strings. They move along very nicely, and you--you might
think they were going in that direction just because they wanted to. But
they never get out of their grooves.... I know you'll think that a--a
weak theory."
"No, I know it's a true theory."
Surely the girl could not have been thinking only of her father's
business as she went on, more and more troubled in voice:
"So much seems to be all fixed and settled, before one's old enough to
know anything about it--and then there's a great deal of pressure--and a
great deal of restraint--in so many different ways.... Don't you think
it's hard ever to get out of one's groove?"
"It's heroic."
She put back her trailing motor-veil, and said: "And for a woman
especially?"
"It would take the strength of all the gods!... I mean, of course--as
women are placed, to-day. Perhaps in some other day--perhaps
to-morrow--"
He broke off suddenly; a change passed over his face.
"And yet," he added, in a voice gentle and full of feeling--"some of
them are doing it to-day."
What his thought might be, she had no idea; but his personal implication
was not to be mistaken. The man from the slums, who had mistakenly put
his faith in her once before in the Cooneys' parlor, conceived that she
was or might be one of these strong he spoke of; little suspecting her
present unconquerable weakness.
Cally was startled into looking at him, a thing she had been rather
avoiding; and looking, she looked instantly away. In Mr. V.V.'s eyes,
that strange trusting look, which had not been frequently observable
there of late, had saluted her like a banner of stars....
"Certainly I was not meant to be one of them," said she, rather faintly.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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