"Maybe, it's that way with all women, more or less--only it seems to
have been always more with me.... Money!" said the low hurried
voice--"how I've breathed it in from the first moment I can remember.
Money, money, money!... Has it been altogether my fault if I've measured
everything by it, supposed that it was the other name for
happiness--taken all of it I could get? I've always taken, you
see--never given. I never gave anything to anybody in my life. I never
did anything for anybody in my life. I'm a grown woman--an adult human
being--but I'm not of the slightest use to anybody. I've held out both
hands to life, expecting them to be filled, kept full...."
She paused and was deflected by a fleeting memory, something heard in a
church, perhaps, long ago....
"Isn't there," she asked, "something in the Bible about
that?--horse-leech's daughters--or something?--always crying '_Give,
give_'?..."
There was a perceptible pause.
"Well--something of the sort, I believe...."
She had seemed to have the greatest confidence that, if anything of the
sort was in the Bible, this man would know it instantly. However, his
tone caught her attention, and she raised her eyes. Mr. V.V.'s face
was scarlet.
"I see," said Cally, colorlessly, out of the silence, "you had already
thought of me as one of those daughters.... Why not?"
"Of you! Not in my life," cried V.V.... "I ... it's--"
"Why shouldn't you? I know that's what I am. You're--"
"_Don't_.... I can't let things be put upside down like that."
His difficulties, in the unhappy moment, were serious. His skin had
turned traitor to him, sold out his heart. And now, if he had the
necessity of saying something, his was also the fear lest he might say
too much....
"If I ... I appeared to look--conscious, when you asked me that, it was
only because of the--the strange coincidence. I--you compel me to tell
you--though it's like something from another life."
He paused briefly; and when he went on, his voice had acquired something
of that light hardness which Cally had heard in it before now.
"Once, a year ago, when I had never so much as heard your name,
Commissioner O'Neill and I happened to be talking about the local
factory situation, about the point of view of the owners or,--to be
exactly honest,--the owners' families. By chance--I did use those words.
And O'Neill said I was a wild man to talk so, that if I knew any of
these people, personally, I'd never judge them so--so unkindly.... It
was a long time before I saw ... how right he might be.... And that's
what I tried to say to you the other day--when I spoke of _knowing the
people_. I--"
"Yes, sometimes that makes a difference, I know." Had she not felt it
only this afternoon? "But I'm afraid this isn't one of the times ..."
Cally rose, feeling that she desired to go. Nevertheless, glancing at
his troubled face, she was suddenly moved by perhaps the most selfless
impulse she had ever felt in her life.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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