"Something troubles you?" said Hugo, with penetration.
She nodded, and turned away.
She had always been capable of independent action; it was her chief
strength, however mamma might speak of flare-ups. But never in her
womanhood had she felt less in tune for heroics and a scene. Life was
shaking to pieces all around her.
"Hugo," she began, with difficulty, playing at arranging a slide of
books on the table with hands like two blocks of ice ... "I--I
hesitated about coming down at all, but now--I think ... As you are
going away to-night, and would be coming back to-morrow entirely on my
account ... I think I ought--"
"Why, my dear! What's all this about?... Do you mean you've let your
feelings be hurt by my going off? Why, you--"
"It isn't that."
The nature of his understanding seemed to stir something in her, and she
went on in a rather steadier voice:
"I've been thinking of something you said to me once--that I wasn't the
girl you had asked to marry you ... It's taken me a long time, but I've
learned that that was the truth. I'm not--"
She was checked, to her surprise, by a soft laugh.
"So that's been it!... I never imagined--no wonder!... Why, Cally! How
could you suppose I meant it? Don't you know I was angry that day?--off
my head? Would I--"
"But it's true! I'm not that girl at all--I feel differently--I--"
"Well! Let's not waste good time in mare's nests of _that_ sort. Why,
dear little girl, would I be here now, if I wasn't satisfied as no other
man on earth--"
"But I'm not satisfied, Hugo."
Cally turned now, faced him fully, a faint color coming into her cheek.
In the man's handsome eyes she had surprised an unmistakable
complacence.
"I'm not satisfied," she said, hurriedly, "to know that we are miles
apart, and drifting further every minute. Don't you see there's no
sympathy--no understanding--between us? What interests me, appeals to
me, what is really my natural self--that only annoys you, makes
you think--"
"I've been at fault there, I own," he interrupted, soothingly, nodding
his head respectfully up and down. "To tell the truth, I've been so
immensely interested in _you_,--in Carlisle the woman,--that I haven't
seemed able to make proper allowance for your--your other interests. I
promise to turn over a new leaf there. And, on your side, I am sure, you
do realize, Carlisle--"
"Hugo," said the girl, desperately, "you don't understand me. I am
trying to say that I can't marry you. I cannot."
Then the faint hum of voices from the dining-room down the hall became
quite audible in the library. By the ebbing of color from Hugo's virile
face, Cally knew that she had penetrated his satisfaction at last; but
by the look in his eyes she learned that she had lodged no conviction
in him.
"I hesitated when you asked me in September," said she, slowly, and
trying her best to make her voice sound firm. "I should have made up my
mind sooner--I've been to blame. I'm sorry to--"
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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