American fiction -- 20th century; Short stories, American
“If she had been a different sort, even, they might have pulled through.
But look at it. She was ambitious and sentimental. She wanted his
success. She’d have been willing enough to send him out alone if he had
lied to her about possibilities. He had had the honesty to realize them,
and the utter brutality to tell her--that was perfectly clear from the
state of both of them. Probably he didn’t think he had a right to
withhold the information from her; or he might have thought it would be
a clinching argument for her going with him. If you ask me, I think she
was very near hating him for having enlightened her as to the dangers.
Women of her kind don’t like such assumptions. And it didn’t give her a
_beau rôle_. There wasn’t anything, and wouldn’t be, God knows, for her
to be jealous of. But there was everything prospectively, if he went, to
pity him for. A wife couldn’t fling him into that; not when he wouldn’t
even pose, not when he didn’t scruple to say what she was flinging him
into. However much she may have wanted to say ‘Go,’ she couldn’t. If he
had only pretended to be other than he was, she could have made it out
to herself that both of them were martyrs, he to his work, she to--oh,
well, to the little girl. She was the kind of woman who could condone an
infidelity, I imagine, in a cold, superior way; but her principles would
hardly permit her to face it beforehand. And that wasn’t all--that
wasn’t all. Of course she had asked him first of all--she would
have--about the danger of infection; and it was evident from every
suffering line in both their faces that he hadn’t hesitated to dot his
i’s. She knew what was dangerous and what was not, and she knew that if
Dorrien went alone he was lost. I pitied her. She had hunted, during two
days, for a _beau rôle_, and she couldn’t find one. Her only hope was to
get him home and trust that he would get over it, like some kind of fit.
And he wouldn’t; that was clear. The only suggestion I could think of
was that they should divorce, and that he should proceed to find another
woman who adored him, and take her out there. That isn’t the kind of
suggestion you make to people; it doesn’t sound sympathetic. It isn’t
practical, either; it leaves too much to be done too quickly. Moreover,
it had almost certainly never occurred to either of them that they
didn’t love each other as much as any other two people did.
“And they expected me to say something! They had spent forty-eight hours
trying, quite in vain, to find a way out, and then had the appalling
cheek and the pathetic confidence to bring it to me!
“‘I can’t argue this matter,’ I said finally. ‘You must see that.’
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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