I trust that my own sex will not think me a renegade when I say, that,
if ever there was a proof that woman was intended by the Creator to be
subject to man, it is, that once place power in the hands of woman, and
there is not one out of a hundred who will not abuse it. We hear much
of the rights of woman, and their wrongs; but this is certain, that in a
family, as in a State, there can be no divided rule--no equality. One
must be master, and no family is so badly managed, or so badly brought
up, as where the law of nature is reversed, and we contemplate that most
despicable of all _lusi naturae_--a hen-pecked husband. To proceed, the
consequence of my mother's treatment, was to undermine in me all the
precepts of my worthy grandmother. I was a slave; and a slave under the
continual influence of fear cannot be honest. The fear of punishment
produced deceit to avoid it. Even my brother Auguste, from his regard
and pity for me, would fall into the same error. "Valerie," he would
say, running out to me as I was coming home with my little brother in my
arms, "your mother will beat you on your return. You must say so and
so." This so and so was, of course, an untruth; and, in consequence, my
fibs were so awkward, and accompanied by so much hesitation and
blushing, that I was invariably found out, and then punished for what I
did not deserve to be; and when my mother obtained such triumphant proof
against me, she did not fail to make the most of it with my father, who,
by degrees, began to consider that my treatment was merited, and that I
was a bad and deceitful child.
My only happiness was to be out in the open air, away from my mother's
presence, and this was only to be obtained when I was ordered out with
my little brother Pierre, whom I had to carry as soon as I had done the
household work. If Pierre was fractious, my mother would order me out
of the house with him immediately. This I knew, and I used to pinch the
poor child to make him cry, that I might gain my object, and be sent
away; so that to duplicity I added cruelty. Six months before this, had
any one told me that I ever would be guilty of such a thing, with what
indignation I should have denied it!
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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