“Swords! Oh, nonsense! nobody fights with swords now-a-days. That’s all exploded.” “I cling to the customs and the fashions of my youth,” said Varney. “I have been, years ago, accustomed always to wear a sword, and to be without one now vexes me.” “Pray, how many years ago?” “I am older than I look, but that is not the question. I am willing to meet you with swords if you like. You are no doubt aware that, as the challenged party, I am entitled to the choice of weapons.” “I am.” “Then you cannot object to my availing myself of the one in the use of which I am perfectly unequalled.” “Indeed.” “Yes, I am, I think, the first swordsman in Europe; I have had immense practice.” “Well, sir, you have certainly made a most unexpected choice of weapons. I can use a sword still, but am by no means a master of fencing. However, it shall not be said that I went back from my word, and let the chances be as desperate as they may, I will meet you.” “Very good.” “With swords?” “Ay, with swords; but I must have everything properly arranged, so that no blame can rest on me, you know. As you will be killed, you are safe from all consequences, but I shall be in a very different position; so, if you please, I must have this meeting got up in such a manner as shall enable me to prove, to whoever may question me on the subject, that you had fair play.” “Oh, never fear that.” “But I do fear it. The world, my good sir, is censorious, and you cannot stop people from saying extremely ill-natured things.” “What do you require, then?” “I require you to send me a friend with a formal challenge.” “Well?” “Then I shall refer him to a friend of mine, and they two must settle everything between them.” “Is that all?” “Not quite. I will have a surgeon on the ground, in case, when I pink you, there should be a chance of saving your life. It always looks humane.” “When you pink me?” “Precisely.” “Upon my word, you take these affairs easy. I suppose you have had a few of them?” “Oh, a good number. People like yourself worry me into them, I don’t like the trouble, I assure you; it is no amusement to me. I would rather, by a great deal, make some concession than fight, because I will fight with swords, and the result is then so certain that there is no danger in the matter to me.” “Hark you, Sir Francis Varney. You are either a very clever actor, or a man, as you say, of such skill with your sword, that you can make sure of the result of a duel. You know, therefore, that it is not fair play on your part to fight a duel with that weapon.” “Oh, I beg your pardon there. I never challenge anybody, and when foolish people will call me out, contrary to my inclination, I think I am bound to take what care of myself I can.” “D—n me, there’s some reason in that, too,” said the admiral; “but why do you insult people?” “People insult me first.” “Oh, nonsense!” “How should you like to be called a vampyre, and stared at as if you were some hideous natural phenomenon?”