“Possibly. But let me go on. I developed a perfect passion for reading
stories in which the extremest cruelties were described. I loved
especially to look at pictures and prints which represented them. All
the sanguinary tyrants that ever occupied a throne; the inquisitors who
had the heretics tortured, roasted, and butchered; all the woman whom
the pages of history have recorded as lustful, beautiful, and violent
women like Libussa, Lucretia Borgia, Agnes of Hungary, Queen Margot,
Isabeau, the Sultana Roxolane, the Russian Czarinas of last century—all
these I saw in furs or in robes bordered with ermine.”
“And so furs now rouse strange imaginings in you,” said Wanda, and
simultaneously she began to drape her magnificent fur-cloak
coquettishly about her, so that the dark shining sable played
beautifully around her bust and arms. “Well, how do you feel now, half
broken on the wheel?”
Her piercing green eyes rested on me with a peculiar mocking
satisfaction. Overcome by desire, I flung myself down before her, and
threw my arms about her.
“Yes—you have awakened my dearest dream,” I cried. “It has slept long
enough.”
“And this is?” She put her hand on my neck.
I was seized with a sweet intoxication under the influence of this warm
little hand and of her regard, which, tenderly searching, fell upon me
through her half-closed lids.
_“To be the slave of a woman, a beautiful woman, whom I love, whom I
worship.”_
“And who on that account maltreats you,” interrupted Wanda, laughing.
“Yes, who fetters me and whips me, treads me underfoot, the while she
gives herself to another.”
“And who in her wantonness will go so far as to make a present of you
to your successful rival when driven insane by jealousy you must meet
him face to face, who will turn you over to his absolute mercy. Why
not? This final tableau doesn’t please you so well?”
I looked at Wanda frightened.
“You surpass my dreams.”
“Yes, we women are inventive,” she said, “take heed, when you find your
ideal, it might easily happen, that she will treat you more cruelly
than you anticipate.”
“I am afraid that I have already found my ideal!” I exclaimed, burying
my burning face in her lap.
“Not I?” exclaimed Wanda, throwing off her furs and moving about the
room laughing. She was still laughing as I went downstairs, and when I
stood musing in the yard, I still heard her peals of laughter above.
* * * * *
“Do you really then expect me to embody your ideal?” Wanda asked
archly, when we met in the park to-day.
At first I could find no answer. The most antagonistic emotions were
battling within me. In the meantime she sat down on one of the
stone-benches, and played with a flower.
“Well—am I?”
I kneeled down and seized her hands.
“Once more I beg you to become my wife, my true and loyal wife; if you
can’t do that then become the embodiment of my ideal, absolutely,
without reservation, without softness.”
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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