“Conditions?” She contracted her forehead. “Ah! You are afraid already,
or perhaps you regret, but it is too late now. You have sworn, I have
your word of honor. But let me hear them.”
“First of all I should like to have it included in our contract, that
you will never completely leave me, and then that you will never give
me over to the mercies of any of your admirers—”
“But Severin,” exclaimed Wanda with her voice full of emotion and with
tears in her eyes, “how can you imagine that I—and you, a man who loves
me so absolutely, who puts himself so entirely in my power—” She
halted.
“No, no!” I said, covering her hands with kisses. “I don’t fear
anything from you that might dishonor me. Forgive me the ugly thought.”
Wanda smiled happily, leaned her cheek against mine, and seemed to
reflect.
“You have forgotten something,” she whispered coquettishly, “the most
important thing!”
“A condition?”
“Yes, that I must always wear my furs,” exclaimed Wanda. “But I promise
you I’ll do that anyhow because they give me a despotic feeling. And I
shall be very cruel to you, do you understand?”
“Shall I sign the contract?” I asked.
“Not yet,” said Wanda. “I shall first add your conditions, and the
actual signing won’t occur until the proper time and place.”
“In Constantinople?”
“No. I have thought things over. What special value would there be in
owning a slave where everyone owns slaves. What I want is to _have a
slave, I alone,_ here in our civilized sober, Philistine world, and a
slave who submits helplessly to my power solely on account of my beauty
and personality, not because of law, of property rights, or
compulsions. This attracts me. But at any rate we will go to a country
where we are not known and where you can appear before the world as my
servant without embarrassment. Perhaps to Italy, to Rome or Naples.”
* * * * *
We were sitting on Wanda’s ottoman. She wore her ermine jacket, her
hair was loose and fell like a lion’s mane down her back. She clung to
my lips, drawing my soul from my body. My head whirled, my blood began
to seethe, my heart beat violently against hers.
“I want to be absolutely in your power, Wanda,” I exclaimed suddenly,
seized by that frenzy of passion when I can scarcely think clearly or
decide freely. “I want to put myself absolutely at your mercy for good
or evil without any condition, without any limit to your power.”
While saying this I had slipped from the ottoman, and lay at her feet
looking up at her with drunken eyes.
“How beautiful you now are,” she exclaimed, “your eyes half-broken in
ecstacy fill me with joy, carry me away. How wonderful your look would
be if you were being beaten to death, in the extreme agony. You have
the eye of a martyr.”
* * * * *
Sometimes, nevertheless, I have an uneasy feeling about placing myself
so absolutely, so unconditionally into a woman’s hands. Suppose she did
abuse my passion, her power?
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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