This time they were miscellaneous, and Miss Entwhistle turned them over
with a kind of reverential reluctance. That poor thing; this day last
year she was probably reading them herself. It seemed sacrilege for two
strangers.... Merciful that one couldn't see into the future. What would
the poor creature have thought of the picture presented at that
moment,--the figure in the blue dressing-gown, sitting in the middle of
all the things that had been hers such a very little while before? Well,
perhaps she would have been glad they weren't hers any longer, glad that
she had finished, was done with them. These books suggested such
tiredness, such a--yes, such a wish for escape.... There was more
Hardy,--all the poems this time in one volume. There was Pater--_The
Child in the House_ and _Emerald Uthwart_--Miss Entwhistle, familiar
with these, shook her head: that peculiar dwelling on death in them,
that queer, fascinated inability to get away from it, that beautiful but
sick wistfulness no, she certainly wouldn't read these. There was a book
called _In the Strange South Seas_; and another about some island in the
Pacific; and another about life in the desert; and one or two others,
more of the flamboyant guide-book order, describing remote, glowing
places....
Suddenly Miss Entwhistle felt uncomfortable. She put down the book she
was holding, and folded her hands in her lap and gazed out of the window
at the hills on the other side of the river. She felt as if she had been
prying, and prying unpardonably. The books people read,--was there ever
anything more revealing? No, she refused to examine Vera's books
further. And apart from that horrible feeling of prying upon somebody
defenceless, upon somebody pitiful, she didn't wish to allow the thought
these books suggested to get any sort of hold on her mind. It was
essential, absolutely essential, that it shouldn't. And if Lucy ever----
She got up and went to the window. Lucy's eyes followed her, puzzled.
The gardener was still mowing the lawn, working very hard at it as
though he were working against time. She watched his back, bent with
hurry as he and the boy laboriously pushed and pulled the machine up and
down; and then she caught sight of the terrace just below, and the
flags.
This was a dreadful house. Whichever way one looked one was entangled in
a reminder. She turned away quickly, and there was that little loved
thing in her blue wrapper, propped up on Vera's pillows, watching her
with puzzled anxiety. Nothing could harm that child, she was safe, so
long as she loved and believed in Everard; but suppose some day--suppose
gradually--suppose a doubt should creep into her mind whether perhaps,
after all, Vera's fall ... suppose a question should get into her head
whether perhaps, after all, Vera's death----?
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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