She hung her head in shame; and Wemyss, looking down at the little
bobbed head with its bright, thick young hair bent over their folded
hands as though it were saying its prayers,--Wemyss, not having his pipe
in his mouth to protect him and help him to hold on to himself, for he
had hastily stuffed it in his pocket, all alight as it was, when he saw
her at the gate, and there at that moment it was burning holes,--Wemyss,
after a brief struggle with his wishes, in which as usual he was
defeated, stooped and began to kiss Lucy's hair. And having begun, he
continued.
She was horrified. At the first kiss she started as if she had been hit,
and then, clinging to the gate, she stood without moving, without being
able to think or lift her head, in the same attitude bowed over his and
her own hands, while this astonishing thing was being done to her hair.
Death all round them, death pervading every corner of their lives, death
in its blackest shape brooding over him, and--kisses. Her mind, if
anything so gentle could be said to be in anything that sounds so loud,
was in an uproar. She had had the complete, guileless trust in him of a
child for a tender and sympathetic friend,--a friend, not a father,
though he was old enough to be her father, because in a father, however
much hidden by sweet comradeship as it had been in hers, there always at
the back of everything was, after all, authority. And it had been even
more than the trust of a child in its friend: it had been the trust of a
child in a fellow-child hit by the same punishment,--a simple
fellowship, a wordless understanding.
She hung on to the gate while her thoughts flew about in confusion
within her. These kisses--and his wife just dead--and dead so
terribly--how long would she have to stand there with this going on--she
couldn't lift up her head, for then she felt it would only get
worse--she couldn't turn and run into the house, because he was holding
her hands. He oughtn't to have--oh, he oughtn't to have--it wasn't
fair....
Then--what was he saying? She heard him say, in an absolutely broken
voice, laying his head on hers, 'We two poor things--we two poor
things'--and then he said and did nothing more, but kept his head like
that, and presently, thick though her hair was, through it came wetness.
At that Lucy's thoughts suddenly stopped flying about and were quite
still. Her heart went to wax within her, melted again into pity, into a
great flood of pitiful understanding. The dreadfulness of lonely
grief.... Was there anything in the world so blackly desolate as to be
left alone in grief? This poor broken fellow-creature--and she herself,
so lost, so lost in loneliness--they were two half-drowned things,
clinging together in a shipwreck--how could she let him go, leave him to
himself--how could she be let go, left to herself....
'Lucy,' he said, 'look at me----'
She lifted her head. He loosed her hands, and put his arms round her
shoulders.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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