To her surprise and great relief nothing of the sort happened. There
seemed to be no rawness to rub. Not only Lucy didn't fret--her white
face and heavy eyes of the days in Cornwall had gone--but she was almost
from the first placid. Just on leaving Cornwall, and for a day or two
after, she was a little _bouleversée_, and had a curious kind of
timidity in her manner to her aunt, and crept rather than walked about
the house, but this gradually disappeared; and if Miss Entwhistle hadn't
known her, hadn't known of her terrible loss, she would have said that
here was some one who was quietly happy. It was subdued, but there it
was, as if she had some private source of confidence and warmth. Had she
by any chance got religion? wondered her aunt, who herself had never had
it, and neither had Jim, and neither had any Entwhistles she had ever
heard of. She dismissed that. It was too unlikely for one of their
breed. But even the frequent necessary visits to the house in Bloomsbury
she and her father had lived in so long didn't quite blot out the odd
effect Lucy produced of being somehow inwardly secure. Presently, when
these sad settlings up were done with, and the books and furniture
stored, and the house handed over to the landlord, and she no longer had
to go to it and be among its memories, her face became what it used to
be,--delicately coloured, softly rounded, ready to light up at a word,
at a look.
Miss Entwhistle was puzzled. This serenity of the one who was, after
all, chief mourner, made her feel it would be ridiculous if she outdid
Lucy in grief. If Lucy could pull herself together so marvellously--and
she supposed it must be that, it must be that she was heroically pulling
herself together--she for her part wouldn't be behindhand. Her darling
Jim's memory should be honoured, then, like this: she would bless God
for him, bless God that she had had him, and in a high thankfulness
continue cheerfully on her way.
Such were some of Miss Entwhistle's reflections and conclusions as she
considered Lucy. She seemed to have no thought of the future,--again to
her aunt's surprise and relief, who had been afraid she would very soon
begin to worry about what she was to do next. She never talked of it;
she never apparently thought of it. She seemed to be--yes, that was the
word, decided Miss Entwhistle observing her--resting. But resting on
what? A second time Miss Entwhistle dismissed the idea of religion.
Impossible, she thought, that Jim's girl,--yet it did look very like
religion.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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