Mothers and sons -- Fiction; Spiritualism -- Fiction; Young men -- Fiction
"When my control began to demand things from me your father accused me
of playing tricks and sternly forbade any more of it. I tried not to go
into trance. I fought 'the power' and this angered father. He came upon
me so strong that I could do nothing with him. I heard The Voices all
the time and your father thought me crazy. I had what seemed like
epileptic fits. I seemed to lose my identity--but I didn't; I knew all
that was going on. It seemed as if I went out of my body while others
entered it and used it to torment and perplex your father. Then he
became convinced that I was abnormal in some way and experimented with
me--all in a very skeptical spirit--and gradually he lost his regard for
me. I became only 'a case of hysteria' to him. I could see him change
from day to day. He grew colder and more critical and more aloof all the
time. This made me so ill that I was unable to keep my feet--I grew old
rapidly, and another younger and prettier woman, one of his teachers,
gained the love I had lost and at last he went away with her."
There was a little silence before Victor was able to ask, "Where did he
go?"
"He went to Denver, and I never saw him again. He died not long after."
"Then did you take to making a living out of the ghost-room?"
"After your father left I asked my guides why they permitted him to
leave me, and they said it was considered necessary to keep me in 'the
work.' 'You were too happy,' they said. 'You are too valuable an
instrument to live out your life simply as wife and mother. You are now
to be devoted to higher aims.' Since then whenever I have tried to get
out of 'the work' they have brought me back. Oh, you don't know what a
clutch they have on me. They know my income to a dollar. They let me
have just enough to live on and to educate you, but they won't let my
rich friends provide me with an income. I must do their will exactly or
they punish me."
As she enlarged upon this phase of her life Victor was appalled by it.
Her madness--and madness it seemed to him--was now a settled and
specific part of her life. "How do they punish you?" he asked, after a
pause.
"They do not hesitate to throw me into convulsions, or make me do things
that rob me of my friends. They bring disaster upon me whenever I try to
walk my own road. Every investment I make on my own judgment they
defeat. Did you ever plague an ant or a bug by putting something in its
way, checking its advance, no matter in which direction it went?"
He nodded. "Yes, I've done that as a boy."
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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