"I just missed you last night. I was again at Kaethe's, only a few
minutes after you had gone.... Fanny was there." She leaned heavily
against the table and continued, "I couldn't bear not to go back. We
mustn't weep for Carli," but all the same tears filled her eyes and
Corinne's own were wet.
No, truly she knew one needn't weep for Carli, but she felt so stupidly
weak, there in that warm room with an abundant repast about to be
served to her; she leaned more heavily against the table, she wanted
terribly her soup, but after her way she said nothing and was able to
continue, as she broke off a piece of her roll and began to eat it:
"Kaethe's grieving for Carli just as if he were her only child," and
both childless women, soft as their hearts were, looked at each other
not quite understanding.
"You ought to see the wreath of white roses that Fanny brought and
coffee and cake. She was so sweet. She kissed Kaethe, in that way of
hers ... you know, and when she knelt by Carli she wept as if her heart
was going to break. She was always so fond of children when she was
a girl. She would kneel awhile by Carli and then she would come back
to Kaethe. She kept saying she should have done more, that she was
a wretch, a monster, you know how she is, and it ended by Kaethe's
comforting _her_. I made coffee for them all."
"I thought she'd go when she knew," began Corinne slowly, to add
suddenly as a child, with a wondering look: "Tante Ilde, I don't
understand anything about anything."
Though her aunt returned her gaze there was no answer in it. She didn't
understand the least beginning of anything either.
"I'm going to Fanny's for dinner tomorrow," she said at last picking
up the thought at its only concrete point. And this time there was no
blush in her face. Why always blush about Fanny?
"To Fanny's tomorrow?" Corinne echoed quickly and turned a deep
scarlet, the color flooding her face to disappear under the low brim
of her hat. Tante Ilde at Fanny's! It was the ultimate disorder in
their upset world, the rest of them, yes, any, all of them if need be,
but not Tante Ilde. There was something snow-white about Tante Ilde.
Three score years and ten in a grimy world had left on her no slightest
smirch, and even now in the process of her despoilment she was at times
blindingly white. That whiteness was the one ornament she still wore
and became her exceedingly.
"You can't, you mustn't," said Corinne slowly after a moment.
"I can, I must," answered Tante Ilde firmly, finding herself suddenly
in a new position, far the other side of both good and evil. "She
didn't want me to--at first,--but I begged her so. She brought me back
from Kaethe's in a taxi last night. Corinne, I _knew_ when I went there
again that I was going to be brought back, that I wouldn't have to
walk, though I couldn't know it would be Fanny.... She threw her arms
around me and wept and said she was miserable herself, that she would
be better off dead."
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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