* * * * *
Then she found herself once more alone in the Augustinerstrasse. You
were always, when you were old, finding yourself alone like that.
She went on, suddenly forlorn to desperation. The sun had long since
disappeared behind some leaden clouds hanging over the Capuchin Church,
the rain was coldly falling and the streets were getting slippery
again. The warmth in her veins was gone, the color departed from her
face. Those unpleasant, sick shivers were passing thickly up and down
her back, and that point of pain stuck between her shoulders. She
pressed her umbrella, needing a stitch at one of the points, the cloth
had slipped quite far up--when it happened she couldn't think--close
down about her head. The damp, hurrying crowds were jostling her
unbearably, carelessly poking their umbrellas into hers. She finally
turned in at one of the less frequented streets to get back to the
Hoher Markt, a little longer, but out of the relentless pressure of
the crowd. She kept thinking about Pauli's hand over Corinne's, on the
table; the crumpled paper napkins, the few tiny bread crumbs, the wine
glasses with their deep, red lees, Pauli's dark hand with the gold
and turquoise ring over the slim, unringed whiteness of Corinne's....
She wanted suddenly there in the cold streets to weep for Corinne,
for Pauli. She was conscious of some faint, wordless prayer that went
up out of her weakness, just frightened supplication rather than
thinking, and "Oh, my little, _little_ Inny!"...
Then her eyes were caught and held by the fatal, antique symbol of
ultimate, entire misery that was inescapably presenting itself.
There, creeping along the walls of the houses, under their eaves, was
a very tall, pale, heavy-eyed woman with a child in her arms covered
by an end of her tattered, colorless shawl. She was soon, very soon,
perhaps that very night, to bring another into that wintry world.
At her skirts dragged a rachitic little boy of four or five.... Das
Elend.... Misery.
Suddenly Frau Stacher's heart grew so big, so big with a desolate pity
that she thought it would burst the thin walls of her aching chest. It
was indeed the symbol, the living, cruel symbol of the misery of that
wintry, starving city. It was all caught up into that wretched group,
to which so soon that other, unwanted and unwanting, would be added,
that child still safe in the womb.... She caught her breath stickingly,
sharply.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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