And other things that had turned his pleasure-loving soul black with
horror.... Christian Zimmermann, they'd been at the High School
together, ... Christian, his comrade, three days in agony, hanging on
that barbed wire and no one able to get at him and when Pauli finally
did bring him in ... oh, no, you didn't think of such things.
And the Peace that stuck in his throat and lay on his chest, and the
fierce angers it aroused, beyond, far beyond the blood-angers of the
War ... Five years to repair the damages of the War--a century those
of the Peace.... Still Pauli often laughed, even in that cold, grey
Vienna, scarcely recognizable ghost of what had once throbbed and
glowed, that funeral urn among cities; for he was naturally a man of
hot hope, in spite of the fact that Fate at her most capricious had
married him to Herr Bruckner's eldest daughter, a horse-faced, quite
inarticulate woman, all of one color, with a solemn, brooding look in
her eyes. She was so different from the glowing-eyed, sparkling-faced
damsels about him that marriage with Anna Bruckner came to seem like
the solving of some deep mystery. What lay behind those heavy, brooding
eyes, with their curtain-like closing? She had rather fine broad
shoulders, something long and big about her body, built in majestic
proportions, or so it seemed to him. He got into a state where he
had to know what it all meant--or die. He had been inexplicably mad
about her all through his lyric years.... Anna his Sybil. Anna had
been conscious of a flattered wonder, and her chill, slow blood had
known its only warmth and quickening when she married Pauli Birbach.
Then so soon.... Yes, Anna had gone through every hell, and there are
many, reserved for stupid, jealous, ugly, virtuous women. She loved him
more year by year. She was obsessed by the thought of Pauli, doggedly,
uselessly obsessed, for early Pauli had passed to the contemplation of
other mysteries.
It was a tribute to his humanity, however, that Tante Ilde felt not
the slightest distaste at going to his house ... even in "that way" as
she called it to herself. He gave more freely than he received, and he
did both easily. Probably for all his good intentions he would not be
at dinner on Tuesday, he had an airy, dissolving way with him, akin to
atmospheric changes,--brightness into cloud, cloud into sun and you
never knew.... But Anna with her joylessness and her one ugly daughter
as like her as the eighteen years between them permitted, Anna was her
own flesh and blood, and she had been at Baden with her aunt during
innumerable infantile illnesses. She was always catching something and
when her hair came out after the measles Tante Ilde had faithfully
brushed it back to a shining, brown abundance. It was even now Anna's
one beauty. They had, after all, so many memories in common--she
couldn't have forgotten all, everything.... On Tuesdays then.
"On Wednesdays you're to go to Mizzi's," Corinne was saying.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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