When in that chill December twilight she first found her way to the
pawnshop, to "Tante Dorothea's," familiar to her all her life as a sure
object for humorous sallies, and left there her gold bracelets, that
old life dropped finally and forever from her almost as if it had never
been, leaving her unticketed, unbilleted, between time and eternity.
Truly she found that there is no greater sorrow than in adversity
remembering happier days.
She hadn't spoken to any of the children about that fatally impending
visit to "Tante Dorothea's," though she had thought of consulting
Pauli; Pauli who always gave the impression that nothing human was
foreign to him. But he would have given her the money. Humbly she
deplored the burden of her existence on that younger generation, that
dead wood of her fate among those green trees, bent themselves in the
blast of misery that swept over the city. Every day, every hour one
had to look out, or one was quite certainly blown over. But Pauli was
away. Corinne, dear, lovely Corinne, she couldn't bear to think of
her pale light flashing in through the door of that pawn shop in the
Spiegelgasse, that fatal "Tante Dorothea's," whom the mention of in
the good old days, had always raised that ill-considered laugh. Once
or twice her thoughts had played glimmeringly about Fanny instead of
"Tante Dorothea,"--to go out in a sudden, chilly little gust blowing
from the terra ignota of Fanny's life. In the end it was her business,
not another's, that was in question. She realized for the first time
the solitariness of her fate, of everybody's fate, so long hidden from
her under the pleasant details of her daily existence which had seemed
to bind it in a thousand ways to other lives.
When she finally slipped out, looking fearfully and guiltily about her
long before she got to her destination, as if her shameful errand had
been stamped in red upon her face, she was further intimidated rather
than reassured to discover, as she turned into the Spiegelgasse, that
she was by no means alone of her kind. All the human scrapings and
combings of the Inner Town seemed to have been blown there too. Old
women like herself with arched noses and deeply-circled, tearless eyes,
thin, wan women, in once-good, now threadbare clothes, whose gentle
mien, like her own, recalled unmistakably happier days,--how many of
them there were! Pale spectres of that middle class whom the War and
then the Peace had stripped of everything save their sorrows. The war
loans they had invested in had gone up in the smoke of battle, or down
in the bitter waters of Peace; the thousands, the tens of thousands
of comfortable little incomes, left them by fathers, by husbands, had
soundlessly, untraceably disappeared, and they were learning the way
to "Tante Dorothea's."
* * * * *
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
Reviews
Reviews
No reviews yet
Be the first to share your thoughts on this work.
Join the Discussion
Join the discussion
Sign in to leave a comment or review.
Sign InorCreate an account