I lay at the edge of that cornfield a long time; it was very peaceful.
The church bells had begun to ring. The long shadows came stealing out
from the sheaves; woodpigeons rose one by one, and flapped off to roost;
the western sky was streaked with red, and all the downs and combe
bathed in the last sunlight. Perfect harvest weather; but oppressively
still, the stillness of suspense....
Life at the farm goes on as usual. We have morning and evening prayers.
John Ford reads them fiercely, as though he were on the eve of a revolt
against his God. Morning and evening he visits her, comes out wheezing
heavily, and goes to his own room; I believe, to pray. Since this
morning I haven't dared meet him. He is a strong old man—but this will
break him up....
VII “KINGSWEAR, Saturday, 13th August.
.... It's over—I leave here to-morrow, and go abroad.
A quiet afternoon—not a breath up in the churchyard! I was there quite
half an hour before they came. Some red cows had strayed into the
adjoining orchard, and were rubbing their heads against the railing.
While I stood there an old woman came and drove them away; afterwards,
she stooped and picked up the apples that had fallen before their time.
“The apples are ripe and ready to fall, Oh! heigh-ho! and ready to
fall; There came an old woman and gathered them all, Oh! heigh-ho! and
gathered them all.”
.... They brought Pasiance very simply—no hideous funeral trappings,
thank God—the farm hands carried her, and there was no one there but
John Ford, the Hopgoods, myself, and that young doctor. They read the
service over her grave. I can hear John Ford's “Amen!” now. When it was
over he walked away bareheaded in the sun, without a word. I went up
there again this evening, and wandered amongst the tombstones. “Richard
Voisey,” “John, the son of Richard and Constance Voisey,” “Margery
Voisey,” so many generations of them in that corner; then “Richard
Voisey and Agnes his wife,” and next to it that new mound on which
a sparrow was strutting and the shadows of the apple-trees already
hovering.
I will tell you the little left to tell....
On Wednesday afternoon she asked for me again.
“It's only till seven,” she whispered. “He's certain to come then.
But if I—were to die first—then tell him—I'm sorry for him. They keep
saying: 'Don't talk—don't talk!' Isn't it stupid? As if I should have
any other chance! There'll be no more talking after to-night! Make
everybody come, please—I want to see them all. When you're dying you're
freer than any other time—nobody wants you to do things, nobody cares
what you say.... He promised me I should do what I liked if I married
him—I never believed that really—but now I can do what I like; and say
all the things I want to.” She lay back silent; she could not after all
speak the inmost thoughts that are in each of us, so sacred that they
melt away at the approach of words.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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