Autobiographical fiction; British -- Belgium -- Fiction; Brussels (Belgium) -- Fiction; Love stories; Women teachers -- Fiction
“I love Memory to-night,” she said: “I prize her as my best friend. She
is just now giving me a deep delight: she is bringing back to my heart,
in warm and beautiful life, realities—not mere empty ideas, but what
were once realities, and that I long have thought decayed, dissolved,
mixed in with grave-mould. I possess just now the hours, the thoughts,
the hopes of my youth. I renew the love of my life—its only love—almost
its only affection; for I am not a particularly good woman: I am not
amiable. Yet I have had my feelings, strong and concentrated; and these
feelings had their object; which, in its single self, was dear to me,
as to the majority of men and women, are all the unnumbered points on
which they dissipate their regard. While I loved, and while I was
loved, what an existence I enjoyed! What a glorious year I can
recall—how bright it comes back to me! What a living spring—what a
warm, glad summer—what soft moonlight, silvering the autumn
evenings—what strength of hope under the ice-bound waters and
frost-hoar fields of that year’s winter! Through that year my heart
lived with Frank’s heart. O my noble Frank—my faithful Frank—my _good_
Frank! so much better than myself—his standard in all things so much
higher! This I can now see and say: if few women have suffered as I did
in his loss, few have enjoyed what I did in his love. It was a far
better kind of love than common; I had no doubts about it or him: it
was such a love as honoured, protected, and elevated, no less than it
gladdened her to whom it was given. Let me now ask, just at this
moment, when my mind is so strangely clear,—let me reflect why it was
taken from me? For what crime was I condemned, after twelve months of
bliss, to undergo thirty years of sorrow?
“I do not know,” she continued after a pause: “I cannot—_cannot_ see
the reason; yet at this hour I can say with sincerity, what I never
tried to say before, Inscrutable God, Thy will be done! And at this
moment I can believe that death will restore me to Frank. I never
believed it till now.”
“He is dead, then?” I inquired in a low voice.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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