Autobiographical fiction; British -- Belgium -- Fiction; Brussels (Belgium) -- Fiction; Love stories; Women teachers -- Fiction
(After a pause) “Bah! how unpleasant! But _I_ know what it is to be
poor: they are poor enough at home—papa and mamma, and all of them.
Papa is called Captain Fanshawe; he is an officer on half-pay, but
well-descended, and some of our connections are great enough; but my
uncle and godpapa De Bassompierre, who lives in France, is the only one
that helps us: he educates us girls. I have five sisters and three
brothers. By-and-by we are to marry—rather elderly gentlemen, I
suppose, with cash: papa and mamma manage that. My sister Augusta is
married now to a man much older-looking than papa. Augusta is very
beautiful—not in my style—but dark; her husband, Mr. Davies, had the
yellow fever in India, and he is still the colour of a guinea; but then
he is rich, and Augusta has her carriage and establishment, and we all
think she has done perfectly well. Now, this is better than ‘earning a
living,’ as you say. By the way, are you clever?”
“No—not at all.”
“You can play, sing, speak three or four languages?”
“By no means.”
“Still I think you are clever” (a pause and a yawn).
“Shall you be sea-sick?”
“Shall you?”
“Oh, immensely! as soon as ever we get in sight of the sea: I begin,
indeed, to feel it already. I shall go below; and won’t I order about
that fat odious stewardess! Heureusement je sais faire aller mon
monde.”
Down she went.
It was not long before the other passengers followed her: throughout
the afternoon I remained on deck alone. When I recall the tranquil, and
even happy mood in which I passed those hours, and remember, at the
same time, the position in which I was placed; its hazardous—some would
have said its hopeless—character; I feel that, as—
“Stone walls do not a prison make,
Nor iron bars—a cage,”
so peril, loneliness, an uncertain future, are not oppressive evils, so
long as the frame is healthy and the faculties are employed; so long,
especially, as Liberty lends us her wings, and Hope guides us by her
star.
I was not sick till long after we passed Margate, and deep was the
pleasure I drank in with the sea-breeze; divine the delight I drew from
the heaving Channel waves, from the sea-birds on their ridges, from the
white sails on their dark distance, from the quiet yet beclouded sky,
overhanging all. In my reverie, methought I saw the continent of
Europe, like a wide dream-land, far away. Sunshine lay on it, making
the long coast one line of gold; tiniest tracery of clustered town and
snow-gleaming tower, of woods deep massed, of heights serrated, of
smooth pasturage and veiny stream, embossed the metal-bright prospect.
For background, spread a sky, solemn and dark blue, and—grand with
imperial promise, soft with tints of enchantment—strode from north to
south a God-bent bow, an arch of hope.
Cancel the whole of that, if you please, reader—or rather let it stand,
and draw thence a moral—an alliterative, text-hand copy—
Day-dreams are delusions of the demon.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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