"Perfectly, honestly; do you mean to say that you can't remember?"
"Now that you speak of it I do seem to recall something; it's coming
back."
"I should think that it probably was; it will all of it come back if
you give it time. I know all about you. I know your name, your record,
the whole dirty story; you were as deep in the gutter when I first met
you as you are now, and perhaps deeper--certainly you had no more
chance of getting out of it; men with your record never do, I know."
"What's my name?"
"Do you mean to tell me that you don't know?"
"Not--not clearly; sometimes I nearly know, it's on the tip of my
tongue, I can see it written, somewhere; but the writing is not
plain--I can't quite make it out."
"What do you call yourself?"
"They call me 'Balmy."'
"Who's they?"
"Oh, some of them; some of the swine with whom I herd. I didn't know
what 'balmy' meant before they told me; it seems that it means a man
who's not right in his head--not quite mad, but very nearly. I don't
think I'm mad, or even nearly, but, looking back, I can't get beyond a
certain point--beyond you. What did you do to me that caused it? Can't
you undo it?"
"Personally, I did nothing. There was somebody else there besides me;
can't you remember him?"
"I do seem to remember someone; wasn't it a man?" She nodded. "I do
seem to remember a man, a black-faced man. I suppose he was your tool,
and what he did to me was done by your orders."
"He certainly was not my tool. You say they tell you that you're not in
your right mind; you were not when I first met you. I should say that
you were practically starving and had been living the life of a London
gutter man; that bolt from the police finished you; we had to do
something to get life back into you. You certainly had your senses no
more about you than you say you had in the workhouse infirmary. I
declare to you that when I left you you were in a much better condition
than when I met you. You had your senses more about you; you had been
well fed, I believe the food I gave you saved your life; you were well
dressed, you had money in your pocket. I don't see how I can fairly be
held responsible for what happened to you afterwards; if you were in
your right mind now, you'd see I can't."
"I don't know how much of what you're telling me is true. What do you
want with me now? Why have you brought me here, do you want to use me
as a catspaw again?"
"Let me tell you my story, and then you'll begin to understand. Do you
mind if I have a cigarette? I can always talk better when I am smoking.
And won't you have a cigar?"
"I had a cigar when I saw you last."
"You remember that? Have another now that we meet again. You'll find
that there's nothing the matter with those cigars, they're good
tobacco."
She placed a box of cigars in front of him. He glared at them as if he
would rather they had not been there, but the craving that was in him
got the upper hand again. He took and lighted one, puffing at it while
she talked.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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