Virginibus Puerisque, and Other PapersStevenson, Robert Louis
General
Virginibus Puerisque, and Other Papers
Stevenson, Robert Louis
Essays
The fact is, we are much more afraid of life than our ancestors, and
cannot find it in our hearts either to marry or not to marry. Marriage
is terrifying, but so is a cold and forlorn old age. The friendships of
men are vastly agreeable, but they are insecure. You know all the time
that one friend will marry and put you to the door; a second accept a
situation in China, and become no more to you than a name, a
reminiscence, and an occasional crossed letter, very laborious to read; a
third will take up with some religious crotchet and treat you to sour
looks thence-forward. So, in one way or another, life forces men apart
and breaks up the goodly fellowships for ever. The very flexibility and
ease which make men’s friendships so agreeable while they endure, make
them the easier to destroy and forget. And a man who has a few friends,
or one who has a dozen (if there be any one so wealthy on this earth),
cannot forget on how precarious a base his happiness reposes; and how by
a stroke or two of fate—a death, a few light words, a piece of stamped
paper, a woman’s bright eyes—he may be left, in a month, destitute of
all. Marriage is certainly a perilous remedy. Instead of on two or
three, you stake your happiness on one life only. But still, as the
bargain is more explicit and complete on your part, it is more so on the
other; and you have not to fear so many contingencies; it is not every
wind that can blow you from your anchorage; and so long as Death
withholds his sickle, you will always have a friend at home. People who
share a cell in the Bastile, or are thrown together on an uninhabited
isle, if they do not immediately fall to fisticuffs, will find some
possible ground of compromise. They will learn each other’s ways and
humours, so as to know where they must go warily, and where they may lean
their whole weight. The discretion of the first years becomes the
settled habit of the last; and so, with wisdom and patience, two lives
may grow indissolubly into one.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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