A SUBURBAN LADY (_to Female Friend_). Oh dear, _how_ stupid of me! I _quite_ forgot to bring a pencil! Oh, _thank_ you, dear, that will do _beautifully_. It's just a _little_ blunt; but so long as I can _mark_ with it, you know. You don't think we should avoid the crush if we began at the end room? Well, perhaps it _is_ less confusing to begin at the beginning, and work steadily through. IN GALLERY NO. I. _A small group has collected before Mr. Wyllie's "Davy Jones's Locker," which they inspect solemnly for some time before venturing to commit themselves to any opinion._ FIRST VISITOR (_after devoting his whole mind to the subject_). Why, it's the Bottom of the Sea--at least (_more cautiously_), that's what it seems to be _intended_ for. SECOND V. Ah, and very well done, too. I wonder, now, how he managed to stay down long enough to paint all that? [Illustration: "CAPTURED BY A DESULTORY ENTHUSIAST."] THIRD V. Practice, I suppose. I've seen writing done under water myself. But that was a tank! FOURTH V. (_presumably in profound allusion to the fishes and sea-anemones_). Well, they seem to be 'aving it all their own way down there, don't they? [_The Group, feeling that this remark sums up the situation, disperses._ THE SUBURBAN LADY (_her pencil in full play_). No. 93. Now what's _that_ about? Oh, "_Forbidden Sweets_,"--yes, to be sure. _Isn't_ that charming? Those two dear little tots having their tea, and the kitten with its head stuck in the jam-pot, and the label and all, and the sticky spoon on the nursery table-cloth--so _natural!_ I really _must_ mark that. (_Awards this distinction._) 97. "_Going up Top._" Yes, _of course_. Look, Lucy dear, that little fellow has just answered a question, and his master tells him he may go to the top of the class, do you _see_? And the big boy looking so sulky, he's wishing he had learnt his lesson better. I do think it's _so_ clever--all the different expressions. Yes, I shall _certainly_ mark that! IN GALLERY NO. II. THE S. L. (_doubtfully_). H'm, No. 156. "_Cloud Chariots_"? Not very _like_ chariots, though, _are_ they? HER FRIEND. I expect it's one of those sort of pictures that you have to look at a long time, and then things gradually come _out_ of it, you know. THE S. L. It _may_ be. (_Tries the experiment._) No, _I_ can't make _anything_ come out--only just clouds and their reflections. (_Struggling between good-nature and conscientiousness._) I _don't_ think I _can_ mark that. IN GALLERY NO. III. A MATRON (_before Mr. Dicksee's "Tannhäuser"_). "_Venus and Tannhäuser_"--ah, and is that Venus on the stretcher? Oh, _that's_ her all on fire in the background. Then which is Tannhäuser, and what are they all supposed to be doing? [_In a tone of irritation._ HER NEPHEW. Oh, it tells you all about it in the Catalogue--he meets her funeral, you know, and leaves grow on his stick. THE MATRON (_pursing her lips_). Oh, a _dead person_.