As she had slowly moved up the aisle toward the altar he had felt an
unworthy, sullen exultation that had served to support him. He had told
himself that her paleness was from thoughts of another than the man to
whom she was about to give herself. But even that poor consolation had
been wrenched from him. For, when he saw that swift, limpid, upward
look that she gave the man when he took her hand, he knew himself to be
forgotten. Once that same look had been raised to him, and he had
gauged its meaning. Indeed, his conceit had crumbled; its last prop was
gone. Why had it ended thus? There had been no quarrel between them,
nothing—
For the thousandth time he remarshalled in his mind the events of those
last few days before the tide had so suddenly turned.
She had always insisted upon placing him upon a pedestal, and he had
accepted her homage with royal grandeur. It had been a very sweet
incense that she had burned before him; so modest (he told himself); so
childlike and worshipful, and (he would once have sworn) so sincere.
She had invested him with an almost supernatural number of high
attributes and excellencies and talents, and he had absorbed the
oblation as a desert drinks the rain that can coax from it no promise
of blossom or fruit.
As Trysdale grimly wrenched apart the seam of his last glove, the
crowning instance of his fatuous and tardily mourned egoism came
vividly back to him. The scene was the night when he had asked her to
come up on his pedestal with him and share his greatness. He could not,
now, for the pain of it, allow his mind to dwell upon the memory of her
convincing beauty that night—the careless wave of her hair, the
tenderness and virginal charm of her looks and words. But they had been
enough, and they had brought him to speak. During their conversation
she had said:
“And Captain Carruthers tells me that you speak the Spanish language
like a native. Why have you hidden this accomplishment from me? Is
there anything you do not know?”
Now, Carruthers was an idiot. No doubt he (Trysdale) had been guilty
(he sometimes did such things) of airing at the club some old, canting
Castilian proverb dug from the hotchpotch at the back of dictionaries.
Carruthers, who was one of his incontinent admirers, was the very man
to have magnified this exhibition of doubtful erudition.
But, alas! the incense of her admiration had been so sweet and
flattering. He allowed the imputation to pass without denial. Without
protest, he allowed her to twine about his brow this spurious bay of
Spanish scholarship. He let it grace his conquering head, and, among
its soft convolutions, he did not feel the prick of the thorn that was
to pierce him later.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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